The first time you have sex, it’s not all smooth sailing. In fact, many fears are attached to it. Dr Mahinder Watsa tells you what to expect (and what not to expect) the first time you get intimate with someone.
Everybody wants their first time to be perfect. Some even envision it to be some kind of fairytale moment. Nothing wrong with that, but one should know that there could be slip-ups, all the same. The man often wishes intercourse to last longer, but if he achieves orgasm early (presumably due to a rush of excitement), it is okay! Some may even fail to achieve an erection and in that moment of disappointment, label themselves as not being ‘up to the mark’. If that is what you think, it is a big mistake. You can always end the session with ample foreplay. If things don’t go as planned in the very first time, there’s always a second time. If a man can achieve an erection during masturbation, he is normal. So just relax and go with the flow.
Yes, it hurts, but wait:
For women, the first time can be a little painful, but hang on. It’s not the pain that they must dread. In most cases, the pain is almost like that of finger prick. However, it’s the fear of pain that makes things worse. The hype surrounding the pain often induces fear in women, resulting in spasms at the slightest touch. This is where it is important for the partner to step in. Firstly, ensure she feels comfortable with you. Ample foreplay is a must to get the vagina lubricated. Start with inserting a finger to rupture the hymen, and then slowly, proceed towards intercourse. The key is to take it slow.
Bleeding? Maybe. maybe not:
That a woman must bleed during her first intercourse is undoubtedly the most misguided notion people harbour. The bleeding occurs when the hymen splits. However, why is it so difficult to understand that the same hymen which is considered a mark of virginity by many men can also split due to other reasons? Rigorous exercises such as cycling can split the hymen. In some cases, it may even be congenitally absent. The hymen can also rupture, when women masturbate. Bleeding, or no bleeding, the fact that you are close enough to your partner to get sexually intimate demands you also put a certain level of trust in her. Doubts, if any, should be cleared right in the beginning, and not in the bed.
Contraception can fail:
One wrong move is enough to invite unwanted pregnancy. Don’t rely on withdrawal method or the safe days of the woman’s menstrual cycle. Unmarried couples must use condoms. If marriage is around the corner, the woman can visit her gynaecologist a month before the wedding. The doctor will put her on oral contraceptives, safe enough to see the couple through the honeymoon phase. Later, the couple can consult the gynaecologist and select the contraceptive method that suits them the best.
It will get messy:
When body fluids are exchanged, it can get quite messy. But there are no two ways about it. Either you do it, or you don’t. So don’t fret too much about unwanted stains and keep an extra sheet handy.