So, you thought you knew every trick in the book to get your partner going. Practice these tips to add to your prowess.
1. Keep your panties on
Wearing underwear can really hot up the session. It can be pleasurable torture to play with each other, teasing and stroking through the fabric. It acts like foreplay where you are building up the anticipation, so that when you finally do have skin-on-skin contact, it’ll be that much more explosive and exciting.
2. Warm breath on your nape
Nothing arouses you more than the warm breath of your partner on your nape – it’s the only sound in the room and is very erotic. In no time will you be a ready and willing partner.
3. Do it movie-style
Every Hollywood movie has one scene where the couple is doing it standing up – against a wall, stairs, behind a door, etc. So what is stopping you from doing it too? Not only will such a quickie have your adrenaline rush up, it will make you agile on your feet! Pick a moment, but don’t tell him about it and pounce. A hot, wet kiss and the urgency will have him reacting in a way he’s never done before.
4. Fast and furious
Jump into the shower with him for a quick, hot make-out session. Change out of your cotton panties into a lacy thong. You could also cuddle up behind him while he is preparing breakfast. Whisper in his ear a play-by-play of exactly what it is you plan to do to him tonight. Tell him about your hot dream.
6. Shy gal
Some women may be shy during sex and when you ask them what is it that they would like, they may get nervous and feel it is too demanding to state. What you can do is to try broaching the subject with your partner in a different setting, where you can express your desires in a more relaxed way. How about cuddling up to him while watching a sexy scene on TV and whispering if you could try that out! Your partner will love you for it, so don’t worry please.
7. Be a wild child
There’s something deliciously dangerous about doing it in a non-private area, which could be on the beach or a park, a lift or even a restaurant restroom. You may need to be careful with insects and itchy grass if you are in a park area, and sand is very abrasive so you may want to have a blanket handy. Be prepared for embarrassment if you do have an unwanted visitor. Also please note, there are laws against indecent exposure in public places, so if you care caught, have an explanation ready!
8. Light of your life
Turn off the lights and take a little torch. Guide the glow to areas of your body that you want him to lick or rub. Start with your neck, ears, nipples – go wherever you want him to explore. Even if it’s a nonsexual area like your back, he has to pay attention to that area until you stop shining the flashlight on it.
9. Women love their bodies
Women who enjoy sex are comfortable with touching themselves, as that’s how they learn about their own bodies, what they like or don’t and how they can reach orgasm quickly or slowly depending on their mood. For women, there are other ways of having an orgasm and not just by having sex, and they control their erotic destiny: they know they can come whenever they want, and that makes them more confident and relaxed lovers.
10. Say ‘no’ to routine
Stash that remote away before you leave for work so that when you return, your partner is unlikely to find it. Have some we-time – talk about your day, walk your pets together and have a leisurely drink. After dinner, serve him a special dessert after the kids go to bed – but tell him that you two must feed each other with one spoon. Add a flirty ‘you lose if…’ to the game and watch how your evening pattern takes a stimulating change.
11. Old school of thought: Both partners should be equally active in bed
New school of thought: It’s absolutely fine to handover all control or take charge, eitherway.
As it is all about sexual satisfaction and pleasure, why don’t you decide which way the wind will blow? Your man will love it if you take control! However, it doesn’t mean that every time you make love it has to be exactly 50/50 score. Sometimes one of you is just too beat or burned-out to have the energy for a night of vigorous sex, but you can still lie back and have some fun.
12. Work on yourself
Excite yourself before the romp with candles, music and wine as you have a better chance of peaking repeatedly, if you are already aroused. The stronger your sexual energy before someone touches you, the easier it is to have one orgasm and even multiples.
13. Ditch the time slot
Who ever said that you have to have sex only at night? It’s a restricting notion, one that will have you feeling tired and dying to hit the pillow. Say Richa, 34, “Our best sex is around seven-thirty, when my husband and I both get home from work. We are so charged that just seeing him still look handsome makes my pulses race. We strip off our clothes and have a steamy session. In fact, we both spend the afternoon looking forward to this time!” Happy hour isn’t the only prime time to pounce. The timings could vary, for some it may be only weekend afternoons or but for the others, it’s the first thing pre-work. “Seven in the morning is the only time we have to ourselves, so that’s when we get it on,” says Anjali, 37. “From a sedate once a week to almost every morning, we are the new sexaholics on the block!”
14. Play games
What if your wife asked you if she could rub her face against your bare chest, if she could kiss your nipples and if she could undo your pants? But why would she ask for permission? Be truthful, wouldn’t you feel more aroused with each permission you were granting? Madhav agreed and said, “Part of it is hearing what she would do next, and part of it was the idea that I was actually granting her favours, like she wanted it so badly and needed to make me happy too.”
15. Eyes open wide
Try not to switch off the light tonight, as you will be turned on by what you see. Don’t be self-conscious as both men and women are stimulated by erotic visuals, according to an Archives of Sexual Behavior study. Try keeping the lights on and your eyes open (this also aids communication, as you can see what pleases your partner). Making love in front of mirrors or using video cameras is a variation on the same theme. The effort pays off. Once you begin to appreciate foreplay as an integral part of sexual satisfaction and the stronger marriage that comes with it, will always be just one short step away.
16. Crackle in the kitchen
The bedroom may get boring after a while, so change in location is sure to help. The kitchen slabs may be cold, but who has the time to think about it. Take care to keep sharp objects stashed away.
17. When you have 60 seconds
Try one of these super hot moves, made to fit any schedule!
Plan a sex Saturday: Slip into his shirt pocket a note that says, “Saturday, sex all day. Mobile phones, friends and relatives not invited. Be there in our bedroom.”
Try the direct route: Take his hand, place it on your thigh – and then slide it higher, and higher…
18. Light, feathery kisses
A kiss on the hand is not the prerogative of only women, men too love being kissed on their hands. Place the tip of your tongue on the webbed area at the base of his fingers, then slowly slide your way up the side. This move will give him goose bumps because this area is as sensitive as his inner ear. This will drive him completely crazy.
19. Novel love
Be intense, be dramatic, be what you read in romance novels. Take as much time as possible. Be loving about it with a hint of nostalgia and emotion. Chances are both of your will be rejuvenated not only sexually, but emotionally as well.
20. Sleep in the buff
Skin on silk or even fine cotton is a heady combination. Try dropping your inhibitions and step by step to sleeping with no clothes on. You may find sleep difficult as you are not used to it, but trust me, it will lead to sexy dreams, a tantalizing cuddle… and plentiful more.