I hear way too many moms complaining about how they don’t want to have sex or how their sex lives are boring and well, I don’t really have much sympathy because these days, there’s just no excuse.
There are all sorts of fun things you can do in the bedroom to spice things up that you’re probably just not willing to try. And hey, we tell our kids “you can’t say you don’t like it if you don’t try it” when they turn their nose down to a new food.
1. Stop being so quiet. Even the slightest bit of dirty talk can take boring sex to hot sex in a matter of a few words. Lose the “Oh God!” and “Right there!” and get a little creative. If you think saying “good job” all the time to your kids is ineffective as praise, imagine what saying the same thing to your partner all the time does? Be descriptive. Be naughty. Be a little bit dirty. You’ll be surprised at how much it will turn you on as much as it does him.
2. Stop saying “no” to porn. Watching porn with (or without) your partner can steam things up pretty quickly. Along with a little visual inspiration, it can be a great way to get new ideas for things to try, even just a little dirty talk refresher (see #1). There are plenty of options that cater specifically to women, even sites onTumblr that have artful but very sexy photos and GIFs, so peruse the offerings and find something that’s appealing to you. Trust me, there’s definitely something for everyone.
3. Stop avoiding the butt. Yes, yes we all know it’s where poop comes out, but a simple wipe and wash and it’s probably cleaner than your hands are right now. And look, you don’t necessarily have to dive right into anal sex (actually, you shouldn’t really do that), but there’s nothing wrong with a little butt play – fingers, tongues, toys, oh my – that you can both enjoy.
4. Stop thinking toys are just for solo play. I hear women talk all the time about the toys in their drawer that they use on themselves but then somehow shudder to think of handing them over to their partner. Are you kidding? If you know that’s what works for you, why not let someone else give it a try. That little extra poke or buzz might be exactly what you need to send you over the edge again. And again. And again.
5. Stop being so self-conscious. The number one libido killer for women is often themselves. That’s right, you feeling bad about your body or how you look naked or all those little things that you feel embarrassed about can actually play out negatively in the bedroom. Of course, self esteem isn’t something that you can just change overnight, nor is there any switch to flip that will make it better. But letting go of some (or better all) of your inhibitions, especially in the bedroom, will make for way hotter sex.