Women are feeling more empowered than ever in this day and age. Many of us have easy access to birth control and many other resources that can protect us from being connected to a man for the rest of our lives through a child. This empowerment has brought forth an appetite for sexual exploration in women.
According to a 2006 survey of adults aged 20 to 59,women have an average of four partners during their lifetime; a drastic change from the one or two partners women had in their lifetime during the mid 1900’s.
With the ability to protect ourselves from unwanted pregnancies and diseases, we quickly learned that we were also able to protect ourselves from unwanted relationships with men. In the past, men put in a lot of effort to “court” women in hopes of getting in a relationship with her and eventually sleeping with her.
Think about it: There was a time when contraceptives weren’t invented, so the chances of a woman getting pregnant were very likely. As a result, men and women were forced to be extra cautious when choosing a mate to sleep with because if they conceived a child, they would virtually be forced to marry. (Please note: There was a period in America when having a child out of wedlock was heavily stigmatized.)
Now that we can avoid pregnancies and diseases, some of us have opted to have a “friend with benefits,” i.e. a person with whom we choose to have casual intercourse without a commitment, instead of a steady boyfriend or husband. The trend is especially popular amongst college students where two-thirds of students have admitted to having a “friends with benefits” relationship, citing the lack of commitment required as the main advantage to such an arrangement.
While all of the aforementioned sound great in theory, it doesn’t pan out so well in practice because women are not biologically equipped to handle the lack of security that comes with casual sex.
Here’s three reasons why it just doesn’t work for women:
- Because we have more oxytocin than men. This tricks us into falling in love with a man after he’s made us feel good which can be terrible if the guy doesn’t actually revere you as a potential girlfriend.
- Consequences of pregnancy are greater for us than for men. If we become pregnant, we have to deal with the physical consequences of it far more than men, even if we decide to terminate the pregnancy.
- We depreciate the value of intimacy. Casualties are fun in our youth, but some of us will eventually want to settle down and start a family. Men do not have a “biological clock” that will prevent them from creating children, so they feel less inclined to settle down, especially in their youth. This creates a very complex situation for us because our casualties allow men to choose quality women to sleep with for virtually doing little-to-nothing to deserve her.