You may think you’re just making a request, but there are some sex no-no’s that women wish you’d stop asking them for. Here’s what those things are. By Minot Pettinato-Little
Yes, women love sex. In fact the iconic roles of men being the sex-crazed instigators seemed to have flip-flopped in the last decade or so, with just as many women begging for it each night.
So while women love making love and doing the dirty, there are a few things men do –or more specifically, ask– during the act that will have their girlfriends rolling their eyes and losing their urge to O.
The sex requests women wish you’d shut up about
Curious to know if you fall under the “stop asking” category? Here are 5 sex questions your girlfriend is sick of you asking, and what you can do about it.
1. Dirty talk. So your lover offered you a bit of naughty role-play or a fabulous fantasy one special occasion, and now you’re requesting it all the time. While a bit of naughty wordplay can really spice up your sex life, nothing is going to take your woman out of her O-zone like you whispering: “Tell me something dirty.”
Her only thoughts up until this point have been “I hope I look sexy” and, of course, focusing on climaxing. Now suddenly she’s supposed to write a harlequin romance novel at the drop of a hat, quickly running through sexy scenarios that will get you hot. After all, how many dirty phrases can your woman say before it starts getting repetitive? Do your lover a favor and, if you have to make the request, do it when you’re already getting close.
Or better yet…
If you want a little dirty talk happening in between the sheets, grab this foreplay by the figurative balls and begin it yourself. If your lover’s still not into it? Instead of making the request, try asking naughty questions to her instead. This will draw her out and make her more comfortable.
2. Watching porn. While this may fall under the “Whatever floats your boat” category, your girlfriend will probably be offended if you’re requesting another sexy couple to join you on the screen. Your girlfriend may be down for the occasional porn-watching-romp, but just know that this can become both intimidating and ego-crushing. Making your girlfriend feel like she isn’t enough to get you off may just put her off the act altogether.
3. Swallowing. Spit or swallow: The question has been ringing among couples for centuries. You ask your girl if she spits or swallows, she says spit and suddenly you’re pouting.
If you’re really into your girl and are looking to remedy the situation, there are only three options for you.
Talk it out. The worst thing you can do is not talk about it. If it’s something you really crave in your sex life, you may start to resent your girlfriend. Open the lines of communication and find out what she finds unappealing about the option. Perhaps she finds it degrading, or had a bad experience with an ex, or let’s face it, bro – maybe you just taste awful.
As famously quoted on Sex and the City: Semen has a notoriously gag-o-licious taste or consistency, and while it may seem offensive to you, you better trust it’s even less pleasant for her.
Change your diet. Allegedly, there are certain foods you can eat that are not only healthy for you, but also change the consistency and taste of your semen. Citrus fruits and bananas, as well as cinnamon, peppermint, lemon, and wheatgrass should all be new, daily additions to your diet if you’re looking for your lover to do the deed without wanting to throw up. It should also be noted that smoking, recreational drugs, red meat, and caffeine are all no-no’s if you want better tasting semen.
Have a no pressure attitude. You’d be surprised how far a little low-pressure no-pressure attitude will take you. If you’re not begging for it, your lax attitude on the matter may encourage her to relax. She may even be more likely to do it when you make it her choice.
And if the lady chooses not to swallow, hey, shouldn’t you just be glad that you’re getting a blow job at all? After all, oral copulations are not a given in relationships. Though, you can also bargain with her by offering her the oral sex experience of a lifetime.
4. No sex toys. While it remains to be seen if majority of men really are put off by those vibrating, gyrating little helpers – the fact is, some guys just don’t appreciate the extra help in the bedroom. In fact, some men may actually request no sex toys. This is because some men find it intimidating to compete with such a beloved vibe – and with women naming their vibrators and dubbing them better than the real thing, who wouldn’t be a little wary?
So what can you do about it instead of simply saying no? Loosen up. Your girlfriend bringing a toy into the bedroom doesn’t mean you don’t have the almighty dick.
Another plight to ponder? Your girlfriend might not be able to orgasm without one. You want your girlfriend to come, right? For some girls, climaxing is incredibly difficult, and as much as she would like to make you her rising star, the real thing simply isn’t going to cut it. While this isn’t true in all situations, sometimes you may have to bite the bullet and your pride, and succumb to those good vibrations.
5.Asking “Was it good for you?” Your girlfriend appreciates you making sure she’s been satisfied, and yes, women understand that men need a consistent pat on the back or reassurance when it comes to their mad skills in bed. But just know that at some point, your girlfriend is going to get sick of your need for constant reassurance of just how mind-blowing your love session was.
Did you feel her writhe against your body and shiver with a tantalizing orgasm? Then odds are, it was pretty good for her. And you’re not just asking for that pat on the back, right? Right. Because you’re the best boyfriend ever! So if she says that itwasn’t good for her, make sure you finish her off. Remember, just because you’re done doesn’t mean the good times are over.
Other Sexy “No-No” Notable Mentions
1. Talking about an ex. While this should really go without saying, your girlfriend doesn’t want to hear about how your ex used to: swallow, role-play, go without a condom, or take it in the bum. If you’re looking for a fight, these are perfect conversation topics! If you’re looking to persuade your girlfriend to entertain these ideas, try another route.
2. Telling her she’s too wet. Certainly women understand your plight: slipping around without any friction isn’t getting either of you anywhere, but complaining isn’t going to help. Change positions, you’ll get there. Instead of getting frustrated, how about patting yourself on the back for getting your girl that excited, you prince charming, you!
3. Filming the Act. Especially with the recent 4chan Cloud hacking? No way! While your girlfriend may want to release her inner rock star in the throes of love, she probably doesn’t want to release her inner porn-star for your viewing pleasure later. Stop asking to film everything – your sex life is not a reality show.
4. Anal. Some girls love it, but most girls are going to give you the big fat “no” when you traipse around that “unspoken” and “un-ladylike” area. You need to respect this, not only because it’s her body and her decision, but also because it hurts like a mother–. Ever had an especially painful number 2? Imagine that. Now imagine it going in and out at an alarming speed. Oh, and, you’re welcome for the visual.
So there we have it, nine questions or requests you might make during sex, and exactly what you can do to avoid the eye roll. Just remember that your girlfriend is your partner, not your sex doll. While there will be plenty of ways to convince your girlfriend to get down and do the naughty, pouting is not one of them.
(via Love Panky)