Having sex for the first time can be a daunting and nerve-wracking experience for many. And while sex education, reading up on the topic, or even engaging in other sexual practices can never fully prepare you for your first time, there are some things that can aid in having a positive and pleasant experience.
After all, having penetrative sex is a spiritual act that’s an exchange of energy. Being intimate with someone, whether it’s for the first time or not, deserves to be enjoyed and treated with respect, and care.
With that, we’ve compiled a list of 15 tips for your first sex time experience, as well as a few first time sex positions that are great for you to dive into the world of penetrative pleasure.
Sensual yet Sexy First Time Sex Positions for Beginners
When it comes to sex positions, many may argue that missionary is pretty standard. Some may even say it’s too vanilla or boring. But for first time sex positions, missionary actually is one of the better choices. Let us tell you why…
Missionary First Time Sex Position
Missionary style sex has the ability to be less intense, penetration-wise, for the one receiving penetration. Sex positions such as doggy style for example allow for deeper penetration, which may not be so enjoyable for those having penetrative sex for the first time. Missionary is also a great way to feel more connected with your partner, as it offers the chance to engage in eye contact.
To have sex missionary style: one partner would lay on their back while the other would be on top of them. It’s a simple yet staple sex position, and great for beginners.
Cowgirl First Time Sex Position
The cowgirl sex position allows the one receiving penetration to control the speed and depth of penetration. In this way, the receiver can go as slow as they feel comfortable with, and they can feel the sensation of penetrative sex without going too deep.
To have cowgirl style sex: the receiver of penetration will straddle their partner, lowering themselves onto their partner’s shaft. They can lean forward or sit up straight, or they could opt to lean back slightly, placing some of their weight onto their partner’s thighs.
Spooning First Time Sex Position
Spooning in a non-sexual context is a great way to feel closer to your partner, and to enjoy a bit of cuddling. This alone has the power to release all those love hormones, such as oxytocin. So when you enjoy spooning sex, you’ll be able to feel a lot of skin-to-skin contact, making it quite intimate. It’s also a great position for vulva owners to receive a bit of clitoral stimulation, either from themselves or their partner.
To have spooning style sex: both partners will lay on their side, facing the same direction. The small spoon will have their knees slightly bent and the big spoon will slide up behind them, entering from behind.
The Lotus First Time Sex Position
The Lotus sex position allows both partners to face each other, and gives them the chance to stimulate and tease each other’s erogenous zones such as the breasts, nipples, and clitoris. That, coupled with the fact that you can engage in deep kissing during your tryst, makes this position a great one for beginners.
To have lotus style sex: one partner will sit on the bed or couch whilst the other will straddle them, face-to-face. And while the one on top could bounce up and down, they too could simply rock their hips back and forth, giving them the freedom to find their best level of comfort and pleasure. Another perk of this position is that vulva owners can be directly aligned with their partner’s pubic bone for clitoral stimulation.
15 Tips to Prepare for Your First Time Having Sex
With peer pressure, curiosity, and raging hormones, it’s normal to want to have sex. It’s also normal for adolescents to act impulsively. This is because their prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that’s associated with impulse control, only fully develops in one’s mid-20’s.
Nevertheless, these 15 tips are useful to consider as one prepares to have sex for the first time:
Be sure you’re doing it for the right reasons
Do it with someone who cares about you, your feelings and your body
Plan for it so that you’re mentally prepared
Use protection—condoms are the only birth control that can protect you from STIs
Don’t expect fireworks the first time, practice makes perfect
Get familiar with your own anatomy through solo masturbation and exploration
Vocalise your anxieties and excitement to your partner
Try to remove the idea that penetrative sex is the only kind of sex
Try to remove the idea that an orgasm is the main goal of sex
Try to remove the idea that sex is finished when one partner orgasms
Go slowly to make the experience as comfortable for you as possible
Stop at any time that you’re feeling uncomfortable or unsafe
Consent is always required, and can be given or taken away at any time
Engage in foreplay beforehand to gain arousal
Use lube for a more comfortable experience
A final note? It’s important to know that sex for vulva owners may be painful, and this is why it’s important to go slowly. However, the pain will subside, and penetrative sex can be a wonderful, sexually liberating, and orgasmic experience when you’re with the right partner.