The word friend doesn’t mean much on its own, although adding a prefix can change its entire meaning. A girl friend makes you think about anniversaries, dating and sex, while a best friend makes you think of fun, comfort and a shoulder to lean on. Can the two be combined?
more than your best friend
Of course, your long-term girlfriend is likely to become your best friend, but what about when your best friend becomes your girlfriend? She has always been one of the guys, the girl you could hang out with even if you just crawled out of bed wearing a ripped, worn-out t-shirt (the one your ex-girlfriend always told you to throw out).
She complains to you about menstrual cramps and you don’t cringe. You tell her openly about what you had to do the other night before bed after your date left abruptly without allowing the evening to progress fully and she confesses that she had to do the same thing because her boyfriend has mono.
One night you see her sexily clad and realize that you’re unable to stop thinking about her. You begin to see her in a different light. You begin rushing home to check the machine in case she has called. That’s it, you’ve fallen for your best friend hook, line and sinker but is this relationship feasible?
make it happen
You never thought this could happen and you can’t understand how you even got to this point. The question remains; could she possibly feel the same way about you? Should you reveal your feelings? That’s probably unnecessary since she can practically read your mind. She knows what it means when you’re biting your nails and clenching your jaw- there’s something important on your mind.
The same thing happened to your friend “John” who fell for his best female friend. They ended up dating and now their relationship consists of nothing but hate-voicemail. You cannot let this happen to you and your best buddy. She’s your Betty Cooper whenever some Veronica Lodge breaks your heart, Archie!
What could you do? Before approaching her to reveal your innermost feelings, you must assess your position. This is a very difficult, fragile situation and there is no turning back once you tell her how you feel. You can’t blame the alcohol when she laughs in your face and tells you that you must be kidding.
weighing the consequences
A list of pros and cons must be assessed before venturing into this unchartered territory. Reflect back on all the things John complained about and praised when he dove into shallow waters.
You like her personality: you already know she’s smart, how her moodswings work, what makes her happy, and when to steer clear of her.You get along and have a great time together: you have common interests and even when there’s nothing to say, you share comfortable silences.You know her parents: this already knocks off one of the things that can be extremely nerve-wracking; meeting her family. You’re so comfortable in her home that when you watch TV with her family you can hold the remote control! Her dad tape’s Monday Night Football for you and you watch it together.
- You know what she likes and how to please her: although this could be a major bonus, the fact that you’d be skipping the intriguing part of discovery may breed boredom quickly.
- You’re taking a big risk: you have a lot to lose in the way of friendship. You can’t imagine her not being a part of your life.
- You may not be compatible in every area: being best friends with someone doesn’t mean you will be compatible intimately. Besides, you’d lose the person who anxiously listened to your complaints about loser dates. Who are you going to complain to about her ?
As you can see, there are more pros than cons, but the cons carry more weight that may lead to the collapse of a wonderful friendship. You may think you know everything about her, and perhaps you do as a friend , but when she becomes your girlfriend, everything changes.
is it worth it?
While there are great risks involved by confessing, dishonesty may endanger the friendship if you behave awkwardly because of those newly discovered feelings. Bashing every guy she wants to date, and telling her you hate when she wears those tight little outfits when she goes out will not bring you two closer.
You may wind up being the best thing that ever happened to her. Don’t ignore these feelings because they may resurface if you try to sweep them under the carpet. Sit down, weigh the pros and cons, and remember that the risks involved could be worth it. You will never know what you could be missing out on if you don’t consider giving it a try.
If the two of you are as close as you think, revealing your feelings may not cause more than temporary awkwardness if she doesn’t have mutual feelings. The greatest relationships grow from great friendships. Maybe she’ll even let you wear that worn-out raggedy T-shirt in public!