While the holidays are great for reconnecting with your fam, shooting hoops with your dad and giving you brother a hard time (you still got him beat in height!) — it can be frustrating to never have alone time with your main girl (and the holiday sex that comes with it). It’s normal to have less sex during times of stress, but with travel, extended relatives and higher credit card bills, what you — and your lady — need the most is to let off some tension.
“It’s too easy to act like you’re ‘just friends’ when surrounded by family during the holidays — particularly for people uncomfortable with PDA,” author and dating coach Laurel House says. “Having holiday sex regularly and often will keep your spark alive, even if it’s subdued under the surface while at the family affairs.”
But before her dad stays true to his threats or your mom walks in on something she really doesn’t want to see, try out these tips and tricks to do the deed while visiting her family or yours this season:
Before You Hit The Road
Before you pack your bags (don’t forget the condoms!), have a discussion with your girl about how she feels about sex around family. She might be hesitant to do the act while grandpa is in the next room, so talking about it before you print boarding tickets will make her feel more comfortable… and less attacked in the laundry room. If she’d rather not in her childhood home or yours, consider booking a hotel room for just a night while you’re away. “This will give you focused couple time that you need when you’re constantly on your best behavior,” House says. “It also shows your lady that yes, it’s a family holiday, but it’s also a special time for the two of you.”
How To Sneak It In
Sex therapist Vanessa Marin suggests coming up with a code word or hand signal that means “Let’s get it on, now!” She also says that even if you can’t go all the way — even a steamy makeout session will help keep the chemistry alive. “Think about the places you can go where you might not be followed,” she says. “Your car? Childhood bedroom? Just make sure to stay away from really public places, like a coffee table in the middle of the night.” The risk of getting caught will make the sex hotter, and you’ll have to be quiet. “Forcing each other to go slow and not make a peep can be extremely hot,” Marin says.
Fake Holiday Shopping
Make a list and check it twice so you can actually finish something else off instead. When you’re both feeling turned on, say you have to run out for some top-secret, last-minute holiday gifts that you want to surprise the family with. Make sure to load the car up with the presents you already bought and head out to find a dark, hidden place to have kinky holiday sex. Take advantage of daylight savings too — it’ll be dark by 5 p.m. in most places!
Savor The Tension
If you’re married or you live together, there are very few times when you absolutely cannot have sex because of other people. So while you might feel more like the (blue) balls are decking the hall, Marin suggest using the long wait to pay off in a big way. “Sometimes not being able to get what you want can be a turn-on and make you want each other more than you have in a long time,” she says. “Send each other little messages about what you want to do to one another, while smiling friendlily at your parents.” Then if you want, fake a headache, head to bed early and sneak out like you did when you were a teenager. The flirtation and dirty thoughts will have both of you raring to go.