Finally, Somebody Got Serious About Public Safety And Banned ‘Facesitting’
It’s about time somebody has taken a stand for public safety, and fortunately that somebody is whoever is responsible for drafting the new Audiomedia Service Regulations 2014 in Britain. Those Brits have decided that all online porn in Britain needs to abide by some tough standards: no spanking, no female ejaculation and above all, dammit, no “facesitting.”
It seems that sitting on someone’s face is now deemed a “life-endangering” activity, along with strangulation and fisting.
The full list, courtesy of the Independent, is below. The final three items are the ones deemed life-endangering:
- Aggressive whipping
- Penetration by any object “associated with violence”
- Physical or verbal abuse (regardless of if consensual)
- Urolagnia (known as “water sports”)
- Female ejaculation
The bigger question is, how many lives could have been saved and young minds unwarped had we not done the sensible thing and banned screen depictions of female ejaculation and facesitting beforehand?
Probably tens of thousands. You’d be hard pressed to find any such cases of death by facesitting, mind you. Although there was a case of a Brazilian woman in 2013 who tried to murder her husband by poisoning her vagina and then convincing him to go give her oral sex, but it’s not known she had specifically solicited him for facesitting, and in any event the attempt failed. I’m not sure of the danger of urolagnia (I learned a new word today!) or spanking either. One the other hand, fisting has been linked to the occasional hemorrhage-related death or case of abdominal peritonitis.
Just for comparison, the following actions are not banned from being depicted on film in Britain, presumably because they don’t pose a great enough danger to human life:
- Excessive speeding
- Bungee jumping
- Actually killing people
The new legislation brings online porn in line with the same regulations that have apparently existed for British direct-to-video porn for years, created by the British Board of Film Censorship.