Just as the sex industry, and sex in general, has changed so dramatically over the last decade or two, so have people evolved. The way in which we are meeting, interacting, having sex, and forming relationships is so different today, that we now have the opportunity to have a (sexual) partner without even having met them. How’s that for some serious technology?
Goodbye newspaper personal ads, being set up on blind dates by friends, and bumping into ‘the one’ at your local watering hole. Toodaloo to weeping your sorrows of being single into a cold beer at the bar, alone.
Hello casual encounters, virtual sex, limitless free online porn, and finding your person with the swipe of a finger.
Online culture has given us all the ability to find cyber sex partners with ease, but with that comes a slew of positive and negative attributes.
This article aims to look at those pros and cons, tips on how to use and stay safe while engaging in cyber sex, and various resources that are readily available to form this kind of relationship.
What is Cyber Sex?
Cyber sex is the ability to gain sexual arousal via technology, such as a computer, smart phone, tablet, or by using virtual reality equipment.
It can take shape in the form of phone calls, video calls, texts, or the exchanging of photographs over the Internet. In this way, one or more people can gain sexual satisfaction or fulfill their fantasies without real life (face-to-face) interaction.
Usually, cyber sex includes real life masturbation, and using one’s imagination is key whilst engaging in this kind of sexual practice.
Cyber sex is not only used by strangers however. It’s also used as a tool for long distance lovers or partners to connect whilst apart, or for people who see each other regularly to receive sexual stimulation while apart.
The Pros and Cons of Having Cyber Sex
It’s an innovative way in which to sexually connect or stay connected to someone whilst being apart.
It’s a non-invasive and non-threatening way in which to express one’s desires and fantasies.
It allows for sexual exploration and intimacy when physical or social limitations are in place.
It’s much easier to find someone online than it is in real life.
It reduces anxiety for people who have self-confidence issues or who have a low self-esteem (about their appearance).
Health-wise, it is an experience that is risk-free (HIV/AIDS, STI’s, pregnancy etc.)
It often hinders the possibility of an emotional relationship and is merely a tool in which to satisfy one’s own sexual appetite.
Unconventional sexual ideas are discussed and ‘practiced’ which can give one a warped view of sex and sexuality in real life.
It has the ability to influence one’s ideas about love and romance negatively.
One’s privacy could be at risk, not only from their browser history or inbox being read, but from company data leaks (like Ashley Madison, for example), or sites that have a ‘hidden’ clause saying that they can have access to your information.
It can be seen as a form of infidelity among couples which could lead to relationship problems and divorce.
It could alienate one from friends and family.
6 Essential Tips for Sexy Cyber Sex
If you’re new to cyber sex and don’t have a clue where or how to start, here are six tips that’ll help you navigate your way through the virtual world that is, the Internet.
If you’re simply looking to connect with someone online (and even if you do have some curiosity about meeting someone in real life), never disclose any personal details about yourself.
You may think that providing someone with your name or address is harmless, but by doing this you’re opening yourself up to the possibility of cyberbullying, real-life stalking or danger, or even identity theft.
It’s also important to remember that the person on the other end may not be who they say they are. The Internet can definitely be a dangerous place, so be smart and remain cautious.
Create a new email address
In July, 2015 Ashley Madison (ashleymadison.com), a website created for the sole purpose of encouraging extramarital affairs, suffered a data breach. This caused the information of those who had registered with the website to be leaked to the public. This included names, addresses, email addresses, and credit card transactions.
The point is, by providing websites with your real information, even your active email address, is a no-go. Create a fake email and use that for your (discrete) online interactions as to be safe rather than sorry.
Cyber sex still requires consent
Just because the anonymity factor comes into play with cyber sex doesn’t mean that respect, human decency, legality, and consent go out the window.
Cyber sex should encompass boundaries, and both people should feel comfortable with what they’re doing.
Establish a connection first
No, not an Internet connection (you’ll need that too), but an actual human connection.
Women especially don’t like it when they’re seen as or called promiscuous, and intimacy is even better once there is some form of connection. Take your time and chat to the person in order to get a feel for who they are before jumping into sexy time.
Always remember that the person you’re talking to is an actual human being, so be respectful.
Auditory and visual stimulation
Depending on what you feel comfortable with, if you add a phone call or video call to the mix, you’ll be treated to way more sensuality.
To hear someone’s voice as they whisper, talk dirty, or even moan, or to see them in action when they’re in the throws of ecstasy can be a huge turn on.
But again, take things slow and try not to jump the gun by asking them for a video cyber sex session immediately. The build up is just as erotic, and you should always feel safe enough to disclose your phone number or video call information.
Of course this one isn’t mandatory, but depending on who you’re having cyber sex with, a sex toy can add a bit of spice to your sexy sessions.
Not only that, but you could also invest in body lotions, sexy lingerie, or dim lighting/candles to create a mood.
Resources Available to Find a Cyber Sex Partner
So, if you’ve made it this far and are still completely intrigued about getting inside the world of cyber sex, here are seven resources that you can use to find a virtual sex partner.
This site has over 90 million users, and what’s even better is the fact that they use a verified third-party ID checker in order to keep the trolls and fake profiles at bay. They also offer the option for virtual fun, or live cam sessions if that’s your thing.
This site places a big focus on casual affairs based on physical appearance. It was created by a group of women who love the idea of a virtual or offline fling, and encourage like-minded women (and men, of course) to join the site.
Ever heard of virtual reality porn or sex? That’s exactly what 3DXChat is all about. Users are able to choose their own character and then have virtual sex with other players.
If all else fails, you could jump on the Tinder train. But this isn’t recommended if you’re looking for anonymity.
Do you now feel more wise when it comes to the virtual world of sex? It’s an interesting place for sure… enjoy it but don’t get lost!