Vaginal orgasms have been controversial ever since Freud insisted they were superior to clitoral Os, but one thing everyone seems to agree on is that they’re rare. Most research has found that, at most, only 20 to 25 percent of women have them, and one study in 2014 even suggested they don’t exist at all. But in our survey, a substantial 37 percent said they do have vaginal Os, which made us wonder: Are they more attainable than we thought?
Just to be clear, all orgasms are created equal—clitoral, sex toy-induced, whatever—and if you’re thrilled about the various ways you come, say no more. But experts claim the vaginal O does feel different (not better, just different), often deeper and more full-body compared to the intense specificity of the clitoral orgasm. In case this inspires you to go on a hunt for the elusive V-gasm, we asked sex therapists to break it down.
Step 1: Start with Self-Exploration
Grab some lube and figure out where things are and what feels good (one place to start: your G-spot, reputed source of most V-gasms, located on the front wall of your vagina). “Instead of focusing on the end game, concentrate on the sensations you feel in the moment,” suggests Emily Deayala, a sex therapist in Dallas. (Get some help from this Form 6 Waterproof Rechargeable Vibrating Massager from the Women’s Health Boutique—it’s designed for internal, G-spot and clitoral stimulation.)
Step 2: Lots Of Stimulation
You want good blood flow—everywhere—so try going for a run or bike ride first; a 2011 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women who had a greater heart-rate variability (i.e., were more fit) had a higher chance of experiencing orgasm. Then when you’re together, take your time with more intimate stimulation: Set the scene by slowly undressing, or extend foreplay by messing around while still clothed.
Step 3: Find The Right Position
A V-gasm is all about the angle, so certain positions make it more likely. Case in point: girl-on-top (though doggy style is popular too). This allows you to control the rate and depth of thrusts; some women feel the most intensity when the penis reaches the cervix, others feel more in the first third of the vagina (G-spot land). Find your own sweet spot, and try some deep thrusts—a 2013 study found that deep vaginal stimulation can spur the big V.
Step 4: Use A Toy
Hands down (so to speak), experts talk up using a couples gadget like We-Vibe during sex (see more toys here). With an internal toy, the added feeling of fullness makes it easier to create friction along the G-spot side of your vagina, and the clitoral stimulation can send you over the edge.