10 Freaky & Kinky Things She Wants You to Do in Bed
Put the Vanilla Fun Behind You & Embrace Your Wild Side
Put the Vanilla Fun Behind You & Embrace Your Wild Side
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For many guys, women’s sexualities are something of a myth. They may believe women don’t get horny in the first place, or believe that women lie about what they want, or simply that it’s impossible to ever properly understand what women want.
As a result, tons of straight guys go through life not realizing that so many women are just as sexually excitable as they are, if not more, and without realizing what, exactly, they’re hoping for in bed.
Of course, there’s some truth to the idea that what women want is hard to decipher. It’s largely because women’s sexuality is seen as a bad thing compared to men’s. Women who have a lot of sex are slut-shamed, while men who have a lot of sex are celebrated. It’s an unfortunate double standard that leads to women often being less open about their desires than they might otherwise be. Why open up about your kinky fantasies if you’ve always been taught that you might be mocked or punished for it?
But being curious is completely understandable. That’s why I put together a list of common female sexual desires — to help guys understand that women are often in the unenjoyable position of craving certain things in bed they may not feel they have permission to ask for. Of course all women are different, and there’s absolutely no guarantee that any given one wants any of the below things, let alone all of them.
But in my experience, these are 10 of the most common things she secretly wants in the bedroom.
1. She Wants to Talk Dirty
Dirty talk is the perfect way to set the mood or establish a new, kinkier dynamic in your relation. Because it’s taboo and charged with desire, naughty words and phrases can electrify an otherwise vanilla encounter with your girlfriend. A few carefully chosen four-letter words uttered by you to convey the intensity of the moment — say, in reference to the way she’s moving on you (think: “f-k yes”) — can help push her over the edge. So, too, can a few provocative sentences, like, “You’re such a bad girl, aren’t you?”
Pay attention to what she responds to — and how. For instance, some women may love being called naughty names during the heat of passion, while others may recoil upon hearing those kinds of words. It may take some honest discussions before you jump beneath the sheets together to get a grasp on which words are off limits.
2. She Wants Uncontrollable Desire
Feeling wanted by the man she adores is incredibly arousing to most women. Let her know how badly you crave her when she least expects it to heighten her feelings for you. A simple “I can’t stop thinking about you,” or “Do you have any idea how much you turn me on?” can do the trick.
Don’t be vague, either. When it comes to desire, the more detailed and explicit you are, the better: “When you stepped out of the shower this morning, I could barely contain myself. I can’t wait to get my hands on you tonight.” When you have her alone, whisper in her ear all the things you find delicious about her — her scent, her skin, the way she moves, or her laugh. Throw in a few respectable squeezes of her thighs, a firm arm around her shoulders or waist, and a passionate kiss. If you’re strong enough, pick her up and carry her into the bedroom, or put her on the kitchen counter, your desk, or the bathroom sink. You get the idea.
3. She Wants You to Use A Vibrator On Her
Surprising her with a 9-inch dildo when you’re lying in bed naked is not what I would recommend as a way of introducing a toy or two. If you’re new to using sex toys together and not sure how she’ll react, try one of my favorite lines: “Sweetheart, I read this article, what do you think … Maybe it would be fun to try?” A boyfriend who demonstrates his desire to give her more pleasure by introducing a toy will likely find the woman he’s aiming to please brimming with gratitude and, possibly, begging for more. The items below can help get you started:
The Magic Wand Rechargeable
The Magic Wand is, to many, the biggest deal in vibrators. Originally released as a personal massager in 1968, the toy took on a new life as a clitoral vibrator due after sex-positive feminist activists realized its powerful motor worked perfectly as a masturbation aid. You may have seen this one appear in porn in the past — it’s been called “the most recognizable sex toy of all time.” If you’re looking to get her a clitoral vibrator, this is about as good as it gets.
$105.54 at Amazon.com
G-Spot Rabbit
If the Magic Wand is the most recognizable sex toy, the Rabbit might be second. Combining a clitoral stimulation vibrator with a vibrating dildo, the Rabbit aims to please both inside and outside by hitting her clitoris and G-spot simultaneously. This isn’t for every woman, but if she’s into penetrative sex and a powerful overload of sensations, the Rabbit is a real knockout.
$25.99 at Amazon.com
The We-Vibe Sync
Speaking of both internal and external stimulation, the We-Vibe Sync is a great high-tech option that allows for penetration (fingers, penis, or dildo) simultaneously. Think of it like sex on steroids. Did we mention it can be controlled remotely via remote or an app on your phone?
$149 at We-Vibe.com
4. She Wants You to Undress Her
She undresses herself every single day of her life, but how often has she had you undress her? There are two ways to go about it: aggressively and gently. If you’re going the aggressive route, be sure she’s wearing something she’s not worried about tearing, like gym clothes or worn jeans. Pull her close to you by grabbing the fabric of a loose T-shirt. Take a firm grasp of her backside and slip your fingers into the waist of her yoga pants. Pull them down, smiling at her while kissing her stomach. The desire you convey toward her here can eliminate any self-consciousness she may normally feel about taking her clothes off in front of you.
If you’re going the gentler — and equally intense — route, hold her with one arm as you unzip the back of her dress, or delicately lift her blouse above her head, kissing her skin as it becomes bare. Tenderness here is key. It conveys love and affection and invites her to relax into the softer version of passion, which can be just as exciting as its more intense iteration.
5. She Wants You to Release Her Inner Bad Girl
In our society, it is acceptable, or even expected, of men to have multiple sexual partners and be interested in all kinds of different sex acts. But unfortunately, many women are still conditioned to believe sex is dirty, that multiple sexual partners is bad, and desiring something other than vanilla sex is wrong.
6. She Wants Light Bondage and Blindfolds
If you have never used a blindfold or tried bondage with her before, proceed with caution. While definitely not for everyone, a lot of women do fantasize about it and the freedom surrendering brings. Blindfolding and bondage can be a powerful turn on because in addition to the element of surprise they bring, it allows one partner to let the other take all the responsibility for the sex they are having. Bondage is seductive to many because it allows them to feel that they can’t stop what is happening even if they wanted to. In other words, they’re innocent and being led astray and made to do naughty things by this strong, sexually confident partner.
Just remember not to rush her into anything and always be safe. The point of the restraint is to increase the sexual pleasure for her. A tiny bit of sensory deprivation if she’s being the submissive one can heighten the sensitivity of a woman’s body, and when she can’t see where you’ll touch her or kiss her next, galvanize her to beg you for more.
Kickstart your bondage and blindfold fantasy with any of these:
Ukissim Soft Satin Blindfold
Ukissim
There’s a reason blindfolds are seen as a BDSM staple — taking away someone’s vision in bed requires a lot of trust, and the vulnerability of the blindfolded partner can be incredibly sexy. Plus, it can be easier to fantasize when you can’t see any of what’s happening, giving your roleplay an added layer of intensity. If you’re new to BDSM and kink, blindfolds like this one are a great first step.
$7.99 at Amazon.com
QENNIE Silk Rope, 2-Pack
QENNIE
What’s bondage without actually putting someone in bondage? If your partner is into being tied up, this rope is a great option to do so without giving her rope burns all over her body. Order this ASAP rather than just grabbing whatever rope is lying around, as it’s super soft while remaining strong, and lends itself easily to intricate knots.
$16.99 at Amazon.com
Fetish Fantasy Ball Gag Training System
Want to take things up a notch? Using a ball gag certainly isn’t for everyone, but if being unable to communicate verbally during sex is a turn on for her, this one is a great option. With three different sizes of balls, you can find the right fit for her (or your!) mouth while small holes in the balls will ensure continued airflow.
$17.45 at Amazon.com
7. She Wants You to Go Down on Her
Most men believe great sex means their penis is the large, erect, star of the show, capable of endless hours of pumping and positions. However, Ian Kerner, Ph.D., had it right when he said, “Sex doesn’t make women come and oral sex does, so men need to put the tongue before the sword.” Believe it or not, only 25 percent of all women reach orgasm from intercourse alone. Over 80 years of research documented in Elisabeth Lloyd’s book “The Case of the Female Orgasm” brings us this mood-deflating fact.
Rest assured this statistic doesn’t fluctuate based on the size or shape of a man’s penis, nor, for that matter, does it hinge on the duration of intercourse. In contrast, the number of women who climax from oral sex is much higher, according to Kerner, hitting 81 percent. That means men need to get to work without making their time in the bedroom all about them.
If you ever need a little extra help to get your cunnilingus skills where they should be, naturally, there’s an app for that.
If you know that you’re a novice when it comes to giving her oral sex, but you want to improve, consider signing up for an OMGYES membership for $49. Launched in 2015, OMGYES is a pioneering site when it comes to female pleasure, offering you step-by-step tutorials and clear guides for becoming a master of her pleasure.
8. She Wants You to Suck On Her Toes
You don’t need to have a foot fetish to appreciate a woman’s feet, and while normally the toes aren’t thought of as a particularly erotic area, it’s exactly this fact that makes them erotic. If, in the throes of passion, you’re so overcome by your desire for her that you take a normally un-sexy part of her body and put it in your mouth, you’re communicating your passion to her in an undeniable way.
And if the idea of putting her toes in your mouth turns you off, hey, you can always start with one of her fingers and work your way up – the message is the same.
9. She Wants Some Anal Play
Ok, this one absolutely requires a prior conversation and her explicit consent before you just dive in, but odds are good she’ll want some backdoor play featured in your bedroom antics at some point – whether that’s something relatively light, involving a finger or a tongue, or full-on penetration or the use of an anal toy.
Hygiene comes into play here in a big way, so make sure you’ve both showered before you rush into anything, but trust us when we say that, if you can incorporate this into your sexual routine, you’ll both be happier for it.
10. She Wants Some to Have Fun in Public
Public displays of affection range from hand-holding and innocent kissing to full-on make-out sessions to the flouting of public decency laws. For some couples, a kiss in public is cause for excitement, but others might want to get a little more adventurous. We’re not going to condone any law-breaking or illegal public sexual behavior, but you can still work within the bounds of the law and have some fun.
Some safe starting suggestions include putting a hand on your girlfriend’s butt while out for a walk, to having her leave your apartment in a skirt sans panties or, if you’re really feeling frisky, with a butt plug inserted.
Explore without judgment or shame what you both enjoy, and accept the fact that this process involves some trial and error. At the end of the day, open communication — in and out of the bedroom — is often the best aphrodisiac of all. Consent is key, and it’s important to fully understand what her intentions are if you feel as though she may be coming onto you. If you’re unsure of what she wants, just ask!
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8 Things Women Secretly Want in Bed
10 Most Common Male Sex Fantasies
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Source: AskMen
