Your Friend’s Girlfriend Hates You
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There’s no doubt that the dynamics of a male friendship change once one of the guys gets a serious girlfriend. If the girl is cool (or at least tolerable), the most his fella will have to deal with is the occasional third-wheel night and the loss of some quality male-bonding time. But let’s face it, some girls are just plain bitchy (especially when it comes to their boyfriend’s single friends) and can cause serious strife between guy friends. We were reminded of this quite common issue from a reader recently (shout out to Justin) and hopefully this article helps a bit.
Get Sherlock Holmes on her
Assuming you’re not being a total git to her, you may want to attempt to enter that dangerous terrain otherwise known as a woman’s mind to get to the bottom of the girlfriend’s bitchiness. You are not at fault for her mood swings, but you’ll be one step closer to a remedy if you can understand the twists and turns of her logic. We also recommend taking the straightforward male approach here and asking your buddy for confirmation on the reason (if she’s told him, that is). Here are some of the most probable reasons for her ice queen behaviour:
Reason 1: She sees you as the single party guy
Once a girl has her claws in a good man, she doesn’t want to risk having him taken away from her. She may trust her boyfriend, but she will still feel threatened if he continues to go bar-hopping with his other single friends frequently. And if you’re one of those friends, she’s going to assume that you’re trying to encourage her man to retreat back to singledom, and she’s going to target you as a threat to her domestic happiness.
What to do about it: It’s not your job to ease her insecurities, but you can subtly show her that you’re not all about encouraging your friend to chase after T&A every time he’s out with you. Invite her to hang with the boys on a night out to your usual guy haunt so she can see with her own eyes just how harmless your socialising (usually) is.
Reason 2: You’ve excluded her
Being a new girlfriend and getting introduced to a man’s guy friends can be intimidating. Group situations and inside jokes can make her feel like an outsider and if you haven’t made at least a small effort to include her, she’s going to feel slighted by you because of it.
What to do about it: There’s no need for you to roll out the red carpet for this girl, but the simple act of walking over to her during a group hangout and chatting one-on-one for a couple of minutes makes a world of difference in a woman’s mind.
Reason 3: She envies your friendship with her man
If it were up to most women, they’d like to be their man’s go-to person for everything. Whether it be advice about a work problem or being their “plus one” to a sports event they have no interest in, women are looking to be numero uno in their significant other’s life — even if your friendship with her boyfriend has taken 16 years to cultivate and she’s only been around for three months.
What to do about it: Do not sacrifice your confidant status with your friend — but do show his girlfriend that her opinion is valued. Ask her for girl advice or financial tips if she’s an investment banker. Even if she hasn’t trumped you, she’ll feel satisfied with being on the same level.
Read on, because we have more advice for what to do when your friend’s girlfriend hates you coming up…