Thanksgiving Sex Positions – How to Have Sex at Parents’ House

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@LUCYMACARONI

Despite a turkey coma and a food baby that may or may not be kicking, you can still finish off your Thanksgiving with a bang. Take off your stretchy pants and try one of these nine post-feast positions immediately.

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1

Licking the Beater

Kneel in front of your partner’s face and lower yourself to receive the bounty that is oral. If your partner elevates their head and with a few pillows, you can have several helpings of oral, you rubbing yourself and/or them rubbing you—without killing your thigh muscles.

2

The Melting Pot

If you have pain during penetration or just want to see if CBD might be the thing that puts you over the edge P-in-V orgasm-wise, a suppository might help relax you and/or enhance your arousal. Put it in your V and give it 15 minutes or so to melt into your body. (Also relaxes the bum for anal, but doesn’t do much for penises.) Get on top and rub your vulva as you grind–try CBD oil externally to start a new holiday tradition.

3

Gourd Vibrations

Post-feast sex where you barely have to do anything? Yes, please. Lie down and…well that’s it. You can hump your hand or a toy but other than that, you just need to give thanks that this is an acceptable (and surprisingly hot) way to have sex. (Also excellent if your partner is blessed, or especially over-blessed, size-wise.)

4

Wish Boned

Still too full to move? Lie down facing each other, pulling each other closer. Run your fingers through each other’s hair and gaze at each other’s eyes. What more do you need?

5

Get Stuffed

You are full. You are tired. Why stress? Lie flat on your backs and reach a hand over to your partner for some mutual masturbation. This might not seem the mooooost exciting, but it’s incredibly hot to look each other in the eye while you’re making your partner climax. Almost as good as that double helping of dessert.

6

The Plymouth Rock Hard

If your partner’s the one who overdid it, have them lie on their back and sort of hover over them, like you’re doing a crab walk (I know this doesn’t sound sexy—sex and anything about crabs doesn’t–but stay with me.) Hold yourself over them, bracing yourself on your feet and hands while they thrust up to meet you.

7

The Naughty Pilgrim

If you’re staying in someone’s house and need to be stealth and semi-efficient, go with toys that won’t wake up Grandma. Try your partner’s thumb rubbing your clit coupled with a realistic silicon dildo (like Buck, my secret boyfriend). You know, just a suggestion. And a nice lubey handjob with a masturbation sleeve will have the same effect on them. (Pack something non-vaginal looking so you don’t have to hide it in the bottom of your luggage.)

8

The Trussed Bird

Get on your back and have them take care of you from the top, pushing your legs slightly to the slide to penetrate you. (Warning: Do not eat a lot before this one. Don’t make me tell you why.) You can also take inspiration from dinner and have them bind you up. (A belt or a couple scarfs work just as well, too.)

9

The Basted Turkey

Top off a day of full-on decadence of by throwing some towels on the floor, lubing your bodies up with way too much massage oil. Straddle your partner for a wild, slippery f*ck, leaning down to slide your slick boobs across their chest. Finish the night with a shower and mutual scrub down, then tuck yourselves into bed.

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Source: Cosmopolitan

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