4 Well-Considered Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Sleep With Your Roommate
While we’d all like to think we make good decisions most of the time, when you are a little tipsy, horny and bored, a cute roommate can seem like a viable option. You know, like karaoke or lying down on the sidewalk for a healthy little nap before you struggle your way home.
Stop yourself: she is NOT like those things. She is a permanent(ish) fixture in your house for the forseeable future. Unless, of course, you think it’s worth it to endure a few months of hell (if it all goes badly wrong) and an eventual loss of a great flatmate and house just for a few weeks of (truth bomb: probably trivial) sex and dating.
Before you slip up and sleep with the person who pays half your rent, remember the following warnings:
No Escape, Ever
When you first start dating someone, it’s natural for things to be unbalanced. Maybe one person really is weary and their personal baggage is telling them to take it slow, while the other is ready to dive in head first. In this situation, being able to regulate plans and how often you see one another is important. Before you determine how much you like this person, you need that trial period and if you are living in the same home there is no escape. Ever. If she wants to hang out, she just has to knock on your door. You can’t feed her any white lies like, “I have to work late” – SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING. When you’d really just rather binge on Netflix, she can see the light on under your door.
When you date your flatmate, you have basically sped up the relationship six months to a year by already moving in together. This really exciting thing that has all this beautiful ritual wrapped up in the packing and unpacking of your items and the buying of new shit TOGETHER that you’ll probably end up throwing out gets completely skipped over. When you thrust that into overdrive without a second thought, you disrupt the natural relationship arc and you have to be ready to handle the crumble.
The Supermarket Theory
Please don’t discredit my reference here, but there’s this scene in Friends when dumb dumb Joey is thinking about dating his roommate and Chandler (or Monica, whichever) tries to talk him out of it by reminding him how brutal it was when he broke up with his last girlfriend and he had to run into her at the supermarket. “Now, imagine you live at the supermarket.” Of course, dumb dumb Joey just smiles because that’s the humour level of this 90’s classic, but you get the point. So, before you jump in bed with your roommate on the regular, imagine you live at the supermarket.
What Happens When You Both Move On
Let’s say you break up – which you most likely will because you are in your 20s (another truth bomb, because people in their 30s or older are not stupid enough to even entertain the thought of dating their roommate) –now what? You want to bring home a girl? Your ex is right across the hall and will hear everything. Instead of getting an angry text when you gypsy fade out of the bar with a random woman, your ex will be waiting, in the kitchen, staring daggers as the girl collects her shoes for her walk of shame home. When a couple breaks it off, they need complete and total space from one another to properly move on. This means no social media stalking, no texting, no phone calls, no hanging out, no slip-up sleepovers, nothing. A break-up is rarely an even decision: one person does not want it to happen and therefore is more hurt than the other. Maintaining communication during a time of mourning is ridiculous and going to blow up in your face. Don’t do it!