You’ve been seeing each other a few times a week and you’re wildly attracted to her. She keeps giving you what you think are signals that she’s ready to seal the deal and go past third base, but are you sure she’s really ready? Before you make an assumption and push away what could be the greatest sex of your life, check out these signs — straight from experts and real women — that give you a clue into what she’s really thinking, and if she really wants you (now):
1. She says, “I feel so comfortable around you”
Relationship and sex expert Vanessa Marin says those five little words are a signal that she’s starting to think about having sex. Women need to feel secure and like they can trust you before they’re ready to hop into bed, especially if they’re eyeing you for potential boyfriend material. If she slips these words at the end of your next date, suggest a nightcap at your place or hers for the next time you see one another, and talk about how you feel around her, too. This will open up the conversation and you might just get an invitation to the bedroom.
. She starts initiating sleepovers.
Here’s a good rule of thumb with women from 28-year-old single gal Heather from Chicago: “If I don’t want you in my apartment, you won’t be there. If we’ve been dating for a few weeks and I feel like I might be ready to have sex, I’ll invite the guy back to my place and suggest cooking dinner.” Don’t be too presumptuous if you make it upstairs, and wait for her to make the move (she will, we promise!); but remember, women generally want to have sex for the first time with a new guy in their own space, and she’ll be watching how you act in her home, too. Ask questions, make yourself somewhat comfortable and make sure you pack a toothbrush, just in case.
3. She’s touching you more.
At dinner, while you’re walking, when you’re making out or at any point when you’re together, a girl who is starting to be really into you won’t be able to keep her hands off of you, says Marin. Physical acts of affection usually demonstrate that she’s feeling increasingly more attracted to you — and thus, might want to get even more physical behind closed doors. The best thing you can do is return the gesture: hold her hand, kiss her randomly, tell her how wild you are about her. This will reassure her that you’re on the same page…. and ready for the next level, too.
4. She’s asking about your past sexual history.
When a lady is about to add another number to her list, she starts to wonder about just how many girls you’ve brought home over the years. While it isn’t healthy to talk extensively about past relationships, relationship expert Sharon O’Neil says it is a good idea to talk about your past in terms of health. Most women will ask you to get tested for STDs and/or go together to the clinic before you do the deed for the first time. If you’re interested in a relationship and want to take that next step together as a couple, then bring up the conversation yourself. This will show her just how serious you are and make her more comfortable once those results come in.
5. She’s asking if you’re exclusive.
You just had another great date followed by an everything-but session in bed. You’re dying to sleep with her but she rolls over and asks, “Are you seeing anyone else?” Though it might kill the moment for you, if you’re ready to make the move forward as a couple, this is the perfect time to talk openly about your expectations surrounding exclusivity and relationships. Most women would prefer to be exclusive before sleeping with you — or at the very least, be exclusively sleeping together.
6. She’s telling you about what she’s not wearing.
According to 26-year-old Laura in NYC, when she’s ready to have sex, she’ll start talking a little dirtier via text. “Sometimes I’ll send something like ‘I didn’t wear panties today, thinking of you’ to the guy I’m dating to give him the clue that I’m ready to go all the way,” she says. When a woman starts being a bit more forward and inviting you into sexual conversations, she’s testing to see how you will respond and if you’ll play along too.
7. The biggest sign? An enthusiastic “yes!”
Marin says this one is a no-brainer. If you ask about having sex and express how much you care about her and you want to see the relationship go somewhere (and c’mon, don’t play her, you need to be honest here) — and she responds with an enthusiastic “yes!” — then, there’s your answer! She’s ready — so make it great for her.