After the big climax, when you’re relishing in the aftermath endorphins of a fun romp with your girlfriend and she seems to be restlessly moving next to you, you might wonder: Was it as good for her as it was for you? Satisfying your partner is important for both men and women, but men especially define their own egos on how happy they make the woman they love. And not just with gestures and gifts, but with pleasure, too.
Being satisfied in bed truly means that your needs, your desires and your joy is being prioritized feel like they’re being taken care of, and knowing that your woman see you in that special light will make your sexual experience heightened and happier, too.
What Does “Sexually Satisfied” Mean?
You might think that consistent orgasms are a huge indicator of a happy partner who looks forward to rolling around in the bed with you, but that’s not always the case. Just like there are many parts to the puzzle when it comes to maintaining strong, solid communication with your lady, there are many factors that contribute to her satisfaction level in the buff, too.
As sex expert and commentator, Coleen Singer explains, “First and foremost, it means that you are giving her the kind of sexual pleasure she desires. It also indicates that she appreciates you taking the time and focus to do the things that you know drive her wild in bed.”
The keyword here is time: figuring out what touches, kisses, words, movements, consistency and rhythm makes her happy will be an education that evolves the longer you’re together and the more things you try in bed. The dedication to the time it takes to make her moan and be happier than she’s ever been before is something she’ll definitely take note of. And hey, might even encourage her to return the favor for you, too.
Dr. Dawn Michael, a clinical sexologist relationship expert also adds that satisfying a woman in bed means that you understand her intimate, unique details and that she feels like you make it a priority to get her to her maximum level of pleasure.
Why Is Satisfying Your Partner Important?
For every relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together, how often you have sex or how many things you’ve been through, there are some fundamentals must-haves to keep your love strong and healthy. In addition to communicating effectively and honestly, supporting one another’s goals, opinions and perspectives, respecting each other and your respective families and friends, sexual compatibility is also one of the pillars that glues your union together.
Singer goes as far to say that couples who don’t make their sex life a the top of their priority list are often the couples that don’t make it the long haul or end up getting divorced. Without having a harmonious — and ahem, sexy — bed to come back to, no matter your stressful day or the tough argument you battled, your relationship can’t find it’s center and home base. “A satisfying sex life helps couples bond. Guys — it just takes a bit of patience and some communication to be a good lover,” Singer says.
And putting both of your erotic needs front-and-center ensures not only that the sexual experiences will be joyful ones, but that you’ll have sex more frequently. “When she is satisfied, then she will want to come back for more, it was a pleasurable experience for her. And when a man is able to satisfy his partner is gratifying for him as well knowing that she gets pleasure from him.”
1) She’s Satisfied If She’s Making Involuntary Noises
Though your go-to porn and mostly any movie you watch that depicts a sex scene often has a woman screaming at the top of her lungs while getting it on, the real life experience is likely pretty different. And you know what? Experts say that’s a good thing! Instead of the grand finale performance, Singer says to listen for the involuntary noises that she exudes during foreplay and throughout intercourse. “Moans, groans and yummy sounds are great feedback and you will get clear signals as her vocalizations intensify,” Singer explains. If when you start kissing her ear, you feel her tense up and grab at you, and sighs, keep going. But if you’re fingering her and she sounds like she’s responding only for your effect, move onto another part of her that will get her going – like her clitoris.
2) She’s Satisfied If She’s Making Eye Contact
Though you might be turned on by her fit stomach, her perky bottom or her round breasts, when you really love someone and feel connected to them very intimately, eyes often become a body part that turns you on the most. Staring into one another eyes not only build your connection to one another, but can be a very intense way to make love and to watch for her indicators of sexual fulfilment. “The eyes are extremely expressive and a very good visual guide to see if she is getting her groove on! You can easily gauge what’s going on in her head when you look into her eyes while making love with you,” Singer says.
3) She’s Satisfied If She’s Letting Herself Go
Being comfortable in bed is — luckily! — something that takes practice. Familiarity, while often gets a bad reputation for being boring, is actually an essential of a really, really good time in bed. A good sign that your woman is enjoying herself in the bedroom is that she’s let her thoughts, worries and hesitations go when she’s with you. A way to figure this out is to listen to her breathing, Singer suggests. “Breathing intensity is one of the easiest things to be aware of, and is a great way to monitor where she is at. As her pleasure increases, so does her breathing rate. Breaths will eventually get shorter and quicker, often with a gasping vibe,” she says.
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4) She’s Satisfied If She’s Initiating Sex, Too
In a balanced relationship, both parties make an effort to get things going. That’s why Michael says a happy partner who is satisfied in bed will jump your bones on the regular. Michael explains that a thirst to be with you intimately means that she’s — obviously! — enjoying herself and that she desires your touch. You might also notice that when she’s with you, her body language is natural and erotic: “Check to see if she’s arching her back, using her hands to guide you, holding your butt while you’re on top and moving with you,” Michael notes. “This speaks volumes about her satisfaction.”