What She’s Thinking During The Threesome

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You already know what really turns you on about the idea of having a threesome, especially with two women. There’s double the amount of visual stimulation, more hands, more mouths and more girl-on-girl action than you’ve ever fantasized about. While threesomes are definitely an erotic luxury that only about 10% of people have tried, if you’re lucky enough to be one of the dudes who talks his into inviting another lady into the bedroom, you might be wondering what she’s thinking in between the kissing and touching.

What She's Thinking During The Threesome

We were curious too, so that’s why we asked some brave — and open — women to share what was going on in their minds when they decided to have a threesome and while it was happening. You might be surprised to find that it’s not as much about you as it is about them, their own desires and trying something they also wanted to check off of their sexual bucket list.

’s what she’s thinking during a threesome, straight from women who spill all of the between-the-sheets :

1. WHEN YOU FIRST ASK HER

When Heather’s , who she’d been with for four years, asked if she would ever be open to having a threesome, she was initially infuriated. “I took it really personal and like he was saying that he’s not into me that much or wanted another girl more than he wanted me,” she said. After she cooled down (and gave him the silent treatment for about 24 hours), he explained to her that it was something that he always wanted to try, and something he felt comfortable doing with her since she was his partner for life. Because she built confidence in their — and their sex life — she wasn’t as mad and told him she would think about it, and at the very least, consider it as an option.

2. WHEN SHE WAS THINKING ABOUT IT

“I’ve always considered myself someone who is heterosexual but I’ve also found women to be more visually appealing than . There’s something more beautiful about their bodies and the way they move, compared to .” Julie says. Though Julie has always been the so-called ‘guest star’ during a threesome — aka, not in the relationship — she said the decision to introduce multiple partners into her sexual routine wasn’t an easy one. “It made me question my sexuality a little bit, but once I weighed the pros and cons, I realized that while I fundamentally wanted to sleep with and eventually marry a man, I also was curious about what having sex with a woman was like.”

3. WHEN SHE TELLS YOU THAT SHE’LL DO IT

“It honestly felt like I was giving my husband the biggest birthday present ever when I told him that I would have a threesome for his 40th birthday,” Katie says. “He always wanted to and we have been together since freshman year in college, so I knew it would make him very happy. I don’t know who was more surprised — me or him — by my choice to go for it.” Most women we talked to said that surprising their husband with agreeing to the threesome was a moment that really connected both of them and made them feel comfortable to move forward.

4. WHEN SHE’S DECIDING ON THE GUEST STAR

Though there are many different ways to find a threesome buddy — from apps to classifieds — most experts recommend having a stranger vs. someone you know. The act itself will feel more sexual instead of personal or intimate if you choose someone of your social circle (or that you see on a regular basis). Katie and her husband decided to find a threesome partner by checking out erotic classified ads, and eventually, decided they would rather pay a professional escort who they knew would come with references and was clean. “Going through the process of finding someone felt a lot like interviewing someone for a job!” Katie says. “Except this time, we got to have interesting conversations around breast size, body type and how attracted we both were to the person. It was a little odd, but it was fun, too!”

5. THE WEEK OF THE BIG EVENT

Heather says that leading up to her threesome with her husband felt a lot like it did when she first lost her virginity. “I was losing my V-card for threesomes at the age of 35, and I was self-conscious, but also excited and intrigued by the whole thing,” she said. “I got my hair done, got a wax, made sure I was groomed and even exercised more that week.”

6. THE NIGHT OF

Katie and her husband went out for drinks with the escort, just to make there they were both comfortable and ready to move forward. After an hour of sexy conversation and some red wine, all three decided it was time to head upstairs to the hotel room they rented for the night. “I felt really pretty that evening and like I was the most desired person in the room,” Katie says. “It was an interesting feeling because usually when I thought of a threesome, I thought I’d be jealous, but instead, I felt great.”

7. WHEN SHE KISSES A GIRL FOR THE FIRST TIME

Laura, a mom of three who had a threesome for her husband’s 50th birthday says that kissing a woman was always something she thought of doing, but had never done. When they all started getting undressed and she started kissing a woman, she was amazed at how different it was from kissing a man. “So many things were going through my head: Am I doing this right? Is this how you kiss a woman? Wow, her lips are so soft,” she said.

8. WHEN SHE WATCHES YOU WITH ANOTHER WOMAN

“I won’t lie, it was hard at first watching my husband have sex with someone else, when I had been the only one having sex with him for many, many years,” Katie says. “I saw the same face that he gets when he’s turned on and I was anxious that he would lose interest in me, but they both invited me to join in and that’s when it started to feel okay. My husband seemed more desirable to me than he had in a very long time.”

9. WHEN SHE HAS SEX WITH ANOTHER WOMAN

All women agree that it while it took some getting used to, once they got comfortable — and after their husbands helped them relax by touching them at the same time — they relaxed into the experience. While some orgasmed and some just got turned on, they all said it was something they were glad they did.

10. AFTER IT’S OVER

“We felt so connected after and I’m really glad that we experienced it together,” Laura says. “It brought us closer and helped us be more open and candid with each other on our sexual desires, fantastics and preferences. Our sex life has been better ever since.”

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