“I’m too tired” “I’ve got a headache” and “not tonight, honey” are all phrases most married couples will have used or heard at some point after the honeymoon period is over.
One mum-of-three banned any such expressions from the bedroom when she set herself a challenge of having sex with her husband at least once every single day for a year – even when she was on her period.
Writing for Good Housekeeping , blogger Brittany Gibbons explained the reasoning behind her decision three years ago.
After having her third child, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror while getting out of the shower and says she wondered: “Who let my mom in here?”
“From that point on, I didn’t let myself be naked.
“I kept the lights off during sex, hid my stomach and boobs inside a camisole, and I waited for my husband to leave the bedroom before barreling from the shower to my closet to get dressed.”
It’s a situation many women will be able to relate to – especially after having children – and some will wonder why on earth she committed to daily sex when she was feeling so self-conscious.
Beginning to wonder if her husband even knew what she looked like naked anymore, Brittany took the plunge.
“Having sex every day for a year seemed obnoxious, but also an intriguing way to force myself into facing my body each day.
“I mean eventually, the covers would have to come off and the lights would have to stay on, right?
“Andy, as expected, was on board. And for a whole year, save for being parted by travel or the stomach flu, we had sex with each other.”
Brittany admits that at first, it was hard to come to terms with the idea.
She’d be standing at the sink and the realisation would hit her that they still had to have sex before falling asleep.
“As a work from home mom of three, the thought exhausted me.”
She admits she dreaded the thought of allotting time out of her day and just wanted to lay in bed and not have anyone touch her.
But as time went by, she began to look forward to the daily sessions and the sounds of her “curvy body – like the way my thighs clapped together or my tummy smacked his.”
Sex helped their relationship outside the bedroom, too.
“We were more romantic with each other, touching arms as we passed, kissing longer before work and not just the cold familiar peck
“Our relationship was stronger and better when our intimacy was flourishing.”
After six months, she took off her camisole and bared the parts of her body her own husband hadn’t seen in such a long time.
“For the first time, I was more concerned with every part of sex that felt good than finding a flattering angle to hide my stomach or back fat.”
And after a year, amazingly Brittany was comfortable walking around the house in her underwear. She no longer flinches when her husband puts an arm around her waist.
Did it last?
Not quite. Three years on from the experiment, Brittany admits they don’t still continue to have sex every night and her “pelvis and thighs welcomed the rest.”
But her life and relationship has changed dramatically for the better.
They’ve learned to strike a balance and have the amount of sex that’s right for their relationship – and this is just one of the lessons she took from the experience.
Most importantly, Brittany’s idea of desirability has changed and she’s learned to love her body.
“It was never about anyone wanting me, it was about me wanting myself. And it only took an entire year of getting laid to figure that out.”
You can read the full blog post on Good Housekeeping , follow Brittany on Instagram here or on her website brittanyherself.com .