This Simple But Effective Trick Will Help You Get Over A Broken Heart
It’s happened. Britain has voted to leave behind the great big family it joined four decades ago – a family that has been responsible for ensuring peace and teamwork throughout Europe for 40+ years – and step into the unknown. And just like making the decision to leave a mostly great but, sure, slightly strained relationship (few are perfect), there’s going to be a cooling off period. You know, where you kind of wish you could call your ex up after a few drinks and say you’ve made a mistake; that maybe you f*cked up and that you regret letting something great go that’ll never be the same again.
While you might feel like you want to punch a wall – especially if, say, your mate (let’s call him Nigel Farage) has spread lies about your girlfriend (let’s call her the EU) and that’s partly what led to the break-up – sometimes meditation can calm you down when you (or your country) has decided to go it alone. Our guy breaks it down:
Particularly, if you’re recovering from a breakup, it pays to keep a clear, focused and present mind. After my divorce, there were a plethora of thoughts rapidly flowing through my head at any given time.
“Will I ever find a life companion? Oh, there’s another picture of Steve’s new baby…I’m so far behind all my friends. All the great girls are married by now. Are there any cool single girls left?”
Those toxic thoughts can tend to get out of control and breed anxiety. The more you worry about a slew of potential problems (that will likely never be a big deal anyway), the more it drives you away from a positive, productive mindset.
So, I started reading more and more about meditation and its benefits for calming this frantic “monkey mind” that is prevalent in western culture. Think of MM as that feeling when you’re laying in bed, tossing and turning, thinking about so much that you can’t even get your ever-important rest for the night.
To combat the monkey, I downloaded a simple meditation app that can guide you through 5, 10, or 20 minute meditations. After starting out doing a 5 minute session each morning I was hooked.
I then stepped my game up to Transcendental Meditation, a practice that my father used to teach as he travelled the country in the 70’s. I’ll admit, I was a little sceptical at first, but after having gone through the training, I truly admired the simplicity of this method.
Now, having incorporated meditation into my life for about the past year, I look back realising what an effective tool it can be for a guy looking to get over his ex.
Here’s why I think it’s so important to incorporate this into your daily routine as you rebuild after a breakup.
Nothing Can Touch You When You’re In The Moment
When you keep yourself in the present moment, nothing from the past or future can bother you. Right now, is all that matters. Concerns of how your relationship went wrong or what your future dating life holds are insignificant. You focus on your life, in the now, and nothing else matters.
Cool Like The Other Side Of The Pillow
It’s hard to describe, but after a successful meditation session, you build this calming sense of confidence. You walk down the street with a subtle smile and a quiet, casual swagger. There are very few worries and everything slows down and just flows. It’s a great feeling of controlled peace when the rest of the world is feeling pretty chaotic
Focus On The Little Things
Like Ferris Bueller once said, “Life happens pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around for a while, you could miss it.” Meditation brings you into the current moment. You notice the small sounds around you, feel the breeze gently grazing your skin, and the smell of cut grass becomes that much more aromatic. When you can take time to absorb and appreciate the simple beauties of everything around you, the bigger “issues” you’re facing seem a lot less stressful.
My recommendation would be to give it a try with an open mind. Just like healthy eating and exercise, meditation should be a major consideration when revamping your lifestyle in a positive direction.
I swear if you could bottle up the benefits of this mindfulness practice and sell it at John Lewis, you’d be a kagillionaire. But, until I figure that out, I’ll be spending at least 10 minutes a day sitting peacefully, observing my thoughts, and reaping the benefits of a calm and confident mind.