Help Her Get There Faster With These 6 Must-Know Tips
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We’ve all been there: you’re going at it, and you thought everything was going well. She’s returning your moves with enthusiasm. You both took your time with foreplay and enjoyed oral sex, and you’re about ready to let go, but you know she hasn’t finished yet. You’ve done everything you know to do, and still, it’s taking her so long to reach her breaking point that you’re afraid you might not last until her grand finale.
Even in healthy, happy and invigorating sex lives, a couple may experience a mismatched timing when it comes to orgasms. And if you’ve had a few girlfriends (or at least a few partners) then you already know that the way women reach orgasm isn’t quite the same as it is for men. And definitely not as easy.
In fact, a recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women only orgasm 62.9% of the time with a familiar partner, while men orgasm 85.1% of the time. That’s definitely a big difference. If her delayed timing or your speed is causing some difficulty, you might want to consider trying different tactics to help her get there faster. Hey, even if you’re not having trouble in between the sheets, making sure she gets to reap the rewards of your hot sex life is enough reason to read these tips – straight from sex experts and therapists – on how to get her to come quicker than she ever has before.
1) Let’s Talk Male vs. Female
If you really (really) try, then you can likely spend less than 60 seconds with your right hand and a good porn clip, and still manage to orgasm. It might be the way you release stress after a tough day at the office, even. But for women, the process of reaching an orgasm is much more complex and needs a little more finessing. The truth is that for many women, an orgasm feels a little elusive. As dating expert and coach on E!’s Famously Single, Laurel House, points out: there are many women who have never had an orgasm… ever.
“Women are more in our heads. We are constantly thinking, listing, comparing, questioning, rationalising, remembering, and getting distracted from the issue at hand: the sex,” she explains. “We constantly have something else on our minds. Which makes it your job to keep us focused and in the moment. You have to get into our heads, not just into our bodies! If you want to get us off, be the total package.”
RELATED: Every Single Thing You Need To Know About The Female Orgasm
2) Don’t Be Afraid To Communicate
If you’re wondering what you’re doing right and wrong in bed, there’s no better way to figure out how to improve than by asking the right questions. Open communication is not only key to strengthening your relationship and bond, but it builds intimacy and a deeper connection when you’re naked, too. It also will help her better iterate what she needs from you as a partner. “Be aware of what she likes and what makes her feel good. Does she like it slow and deep? Does she like to kiss? Does she like to have her nipples squeezed? Then do that! So how do you know what she likes? Ask her! Talk about it,” House says.
3) Make Finding The C-Spot Your Mission
If making her reach orgasm faster is really important to you, then the first lesson you must master is locating her C-spot (clitoris). Once you’ve talked about improving your sex life and your desire to help her get the most out of your intimate time together, talk to her about how you would like to work on that C-spot, and ask for her guidance. She might not even know that most women can’t physically orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone, and they need a little help by stimulating the clitoris.