What do you need for mind blowing sex? Actually, just one thing – you need the right person, everything else is secondary to that fact. So, why not explore what happens if you deliberately remove the extras and take the most basic road towards intense sexual pleasure? We’ve already made the case for minimalist sex, and this time we’ll take the whole game a notch up and explore the sensory deprivation in sex.
Sensory deprivation is a deliberate removal of stimuli from our senses. The reason might vary, nevertheless it can reveal a lot about the way we are wired. For instance, science once held a belief that we are kept awake and conscious by the constant process of filtering and processing of stimuli from our surroundings. So, if that input was to be removed, they hypothesized, our brain would slip in a sort of hibernation. However, when they tried to prove this in the experimental setting of a sensory deprivation tank, the truth was revealed to be just the opposite – when all stimuli are removed, instead of hibernating, the mind explodes with activity: visions, various auditory hallucinations and other perceptual distortions. In other words: without the distractions, mind tends to go into overdrive.
Let’s see how we can use this concept for some great sex. We happen to live in a world filled with sensory maximalism and, of course, we tend to desire our sex life to be the same way – full of intense stimuli. If we compare it to food – an untrained mouth likes strong tastes like intense sweet and salty flavours, yet a refined connoisseur will rather enjoy gentle shades of different aromas. Our brain will playfully develop its own joyful narrative when you remove the dominance of strong sensory input. When you apply the same principle to sex; letting your mind fill the gap between reduced inputs will unleash the ecstatic erotic satisfaction.
While going through some ideas, we will assume you want to play the role of master of ceremony and shape the complete experience for your partner. The perfect setting for the mind-blowing session would be a space in which you can control parameters like sound and light as much as possible (but don’t worry if you can’t block all the light, instead cover your partner’s eyes and keep some light so you can move around). Preferably it would be a space your partner doesn’t already have mapped in their head, for instance a hotel room or a rented apartment.
For the ideal intro into sensory deprived sex, you need to build some tension before the act itself. Think of it like this – you don’t want your partner to just feel sensory deprived, you want them feeling deprived all over. Start with some teasing, kissing, and some light foreplay, like a bit of dry humping. Once both of you are well in the mood, instead of progressing further, proceed to perform a full deprivation.
For a sense-heightening phase, you can cover your partner’s eyes and take them to a warm bath in a dark and silent bathroom. If a bathtub is not available, a cosy bed will do. Do not play with each other in this phase. The point is to reduce sensory inputs until the senses get sharpened. If it feels right, you can stay in the water until it cools to around body temperature. Generally, you’ll want this phase to last anywhere from five to twenty minutes, but not long enough for mood to dissipate. Apart from messing with our senses, this phase will also allow the tension to grow further merely through anticipation of hot sex, which is probably the most powerful aphrodisiac known to mankind.
You can think of your partner’s sense of anticipation as your great ally throughout the session, and the absence of visual and verbal clues of what is about to happen next will greatly increase the erotic tension. Lead your partner with their eyes covered to a bed or, even better, prepare a mat on the floor for this purpose. Cover it with a large towel so you don’t have to worry about dripping water from the bath. You can slowly and mindfully wipe your partner with it, or, if the space is warm enough, your partner can remain wet. After all, things are meant to get much wetter.
The sense of sight is our most important sense and taking it out will already put the mind in the heightened state. Assuming they spent some time in complete darkness while taking a bath, by the time you take them to bed they will already be quite disoriented, and their mind will be ready to play by your rules. Without the eyes to make sense of the situation, other senses will be striving to make sense of it.
If the two of you are verbal, you can use this fact to throw in a few juicy words, short and sexy description of how you plan to fuck them. After all, the scenario is also a power play in which you play the dominant role.
Or you might prefer the complete silence and even use earplugs on your partner. Especially if you plan on using toys that buzz, the earplugs will increase the sense of surprise and keep the partner’s mind in erotic suspense. If you both like that game, you can bind your partner to control and restrict their range of movement. To make the most of sensory deprived sex, go slow, let your imagination run wild and try using diverse poses, imaginative sequence of moves, and a different pace than the two of you are used to in your everyday sex. But most of all, don’t be selfish when you’re in control. Enjoy your role of the director of your partner’s sensory deprived pleasure trip and both of you are guaranteed to have loads of fun.
For related topics, check out:
How to Introduce Sex Toys into Your Relationship for Better Sex