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Jealousy is a hot-button issue when it comes to relationships, especially when the topic veers over to whether or not girls actually want their men to get jealous from time to time. It’s not an outrageous question and women have requested crazier things in life than that. However, it also simplifies the issue and the actual mind of a woman, which is nothing, if not complex (take that as a good or bad thing). Women aren’t asking for the green-eyed monster; in reality, they want the cute, cuddly Sesame Street version. We’re here to break down the difference between the cutesy jealousy most women desire and the real jealousy they want you to stay far, far away from.
If you went up to the average girl on the street and asked her: “Do women want men to get jealous?” there’s a good chance she’d say yes. Hang on, there’s a point to be made. This fact actually means very little because, as is often the case, most women have no clue what they really want. Do women want to be appreciated by their men? Yes. Do they want to feel attractive to the man they’ve been dating for a long time? Of course. Would most women want their men to express mild concern over her (innocently) hanging out with another bloke? Sure. However, here’s where things get tricky. Women think they want their man to get jealous — but the jealousy they’re talking about is cutesy jealousy. It bears little resemblance to actual jealousy and may or may not make the female race more annoying to you than ever before. Here’s what can fall under cutesy jealousy.
You’re at the bar with your girlfriend and a load of friends and you notice a few other guys check her out as she heads back to your table with drinks. When she arrives back at the table, you throw an arm over her shoulders. This simple move says: “Yes, I notice you’re looking hot tonight and yes, I also notice you’re getting looks from other blokes.” It’s silent and sweet. You know what’s not silent and sweet? Acting like a complete arsehole and getting in the face of any of those aforementioned guys over looking at your girl. This isn’t an episode of The Sopranos.
Your girl is all dolled up and ready to head out for a girl’s night out. She kisses you goodbye and you smile and say: “Watch out for other guys!” It’s ridiculous and funny, and even if you’re not entirely serious about it (because you trust her, not because you think she’s an ugly hag who can’t get other guys), it still shows you care.
Don’t listen to women (kidding… but not really. Make exceptions for your mother and this section of the site, of course). Unless your (crazy) chick is into Stan Collymore-Ulrika Johnson role-play, she’s not craving real jealousy from you.
What exactly does “real jealousy” mean? Find out next…