Dear Coleen: We’re in our early 20s but my girlfriend doesn’t want sex

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Dear Coleen

My and I don’t have regularly. I’m a highly-sexed guy and want it constantly. I’m not naive enough to think we should be having it all the time, but to have no sexual contact in months is just not going to work for me.

I’m only 22 and my girlfriend is 20, so surely we should be enjoying sexual experiences rather than acting like a pair of old age pensioners?

Any advice?

Coleen says

You might just not be compatible and if it’s not working for you and you can’t accept things the way they are long term, then you have to be honest with her.

Of course sex is a very factor, but it’s more about compatibility as opposed to notching up how many times you do it a week. If neither of you had a high sex drive, then that would work – you’d be compatible.

Problems arise when one of you is more interested in sex than the other.

At your age, if you go for long periods without being intimate, then that would suggest to me that things aren’t working on that level.

If you stay in the relationship and get more frustrated, the chances are it won’t be long before you end up and then you’ll have even more problems.

But to her – ask her why she’s not interested and see if there’s a way to work it out.

And don’t write off old age pensioners – many of them are very in the bedroom!

More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, and relationship problems

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