I’ve been with my partner for 16 years. I’m 32 and he’s 34, and we have three wonderful children together.
But I work and he doesn’t, and it’s starting to make me resent him. He’s at home all day and yet he does nothing.
I have to clean up all the mess after a nine-hour shift, and it seems he’s not bothered about finding a job.
I’m starting to connect with a guy at work and it’s made me think about my relationship and where it’s going.
What should I do?
OK, you’re not going to like this, but he’s not doing stuff partly because you’re letting him.
After a nine-hour shift you’re still going home and cleaning the house. If you keep doing it, there’s no reason for him to change.
Yes, he absolutely needs to start pulling his weight, but you both need to start thinking more as a team and helping each other.
Stop clearing up when you get home. Instead, tell him you’re not going to lift a finger until you both sit down and talk about dividing up the jobs.
I imagine he’s looking after the children at least some of the time while you’re a work, so you need to take that into account.
Being a stay-at-home parent is not an easy option.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of looking to someone else for the answers, but I’d advise you to attempt to sort out things at home first then see if the guy at the office still seems attractive.
If you have an affair behind your partner’s back, you’ll be the bad girl who let your family down – he’ll play the “poor me” card.
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