Dear Coleen: My girlfriend is more interested in her female friend than me – it's making me insecure

0
35

Dear Coleen

I’ve recently entered into a new relationship with an amazing girl and we’ve now been together for almost four months.

We’ve both quickly fallen in love, however she’s got this friend she’s very close to.

Every time this girl comes to stay, my girlfriend doesn’t seem to want me around.

It makes me feel as if she’s ashamed of me.

When I ask her if this is the case, she gets all defensive.

I have been cheated on before and the situation feels very similar to this. It’s causing me to become anxious and have sleepless nights.

I just don’t know what to do.

Coleen says

I think because you’ve been hurt in the past, you’re possibly being a bit paranoid.

I know if I have my girlfriends or sisters over, my husband Ray always says: “OK, that’s me ignored all day, I’ll leave you to it.”

Instead of jumping to the conclusion she’s bisexual and having an affair with one of her best mates, step back and think about a more likely reason.

I’d say she probably wants to spend time alone with her friend because they don’t see each other much and she’s getting defensive because you’re giving her a hard time about it.

You’ve only been seeing each other for a short time, so don’t jeopardise it by constantly questioning her about her friendships and where she’s going. It’s not like she’s out every night clubbing with her mates.

Yes, it’s understandable that you’re wary after being cheated on, but you have to learn to trust again.

You were betrayed but you got over it and met someone lovely and, if it happens again, you’ll survive it again.

You have to trust someone until they let you down.

More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here