Dear Coleen: My friend just got married to a man who’s having an affair


Dear Coleen

My friend recently got married, and I have since found out that her husband has been having an affair for the past two years.

To make matters worse, the day after their wedding he met this other woman for a few hours.

I’m having a real dilemma about what to do.

What’s your advice please?

Coleen says

This is a tricky one. It’s a no-win situation really – if you tell her, it’ll destroy everything, and if you don’t, she’ll be married to a man who’s cheating on her.

If you know, I suspect quite a lot of people must know and, as clever as he thinks he’s being, it’s bound to come out.

He’ll either drop himself in it or someone else will drop him in it.

You could start by talking to him and say you’re telling him in the hope that he’ll end the affair and concentrate on his wife. It’s important to give him a chance to do the right thing.

But if you really can’t face your friend while knowing what you know, then you have to tell her.

However, be prepared that you might be the one who’s blacklisted. The pair of them might work it out and won’t want you around as a reminder.

If you’re prepared to lose them as friends and feel better knowing you couldn’t let it go on, then you have no choice but to spill the beans.

* More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems


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