Dear Coleen: My fiance seems obsessed with the idea I am cheating on him

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Dear Coleen

My fiance continually asks me if I love him and if I’m faithful. I have told him the truth, which is that I do love him and that I’m 100% faithful, yet he keeps on asking.

I don’t know how to handle it because, apart from this, he’s kind, caring and very loving. However, these constant questions are really wearing me down and he seems almost obsessed.

It’s crazy because I’ve never cheated on him – I’ve never even thought about it! He claims he asks because he wants us to be close and honest with each other, but I just don’t get it.

There are lots of other things we could discuss to build intimacy. I’d love to know your thoughts.

Coleen says

I think he’s hugely insecure. Maybe he’s been hurt in the past after an ex cheated and he’s scared of it happening again. But you’re right, it is so tiresome.

What you need to say to him is, “I’ve never even thought about cheating on you, but you are going to ruin our relationship because I’m getting tired of having to constantly reassure you”.

The thing is, if you’re going to get married and have a future together, you have to trust each other or there’s no point.

Tell him you don’t think he’s ready for marriage if he believes you’re capable of cheating on him, so you’d like to postpone the wedding until he deals with his insecurities.

If he thinks he might lose you, it might wake him up.

More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems

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