Dear Coleen: My life may look great to others but I’m so unhappy inside


‘I find myself sitting at my desk quite often thinking: “Is this all there is?”’

Dear Coleen

I’m a woman in my early 40s and have a really good job, a great salary and a big network of friends and ­acquaintances (mostly people I’ve met through work).

Anyone looking from the outside would think I led a charmed life and would probably be pretty envious.

But here’s the thing – I’m so unhappy in my job and want to leave, but I’m scared to make the move.

I suppose I’m worried about making the wrong decision and regretting it, losing my financial security and so on.

But I also fear that if I stay doing this job day in, day out, I’ll never find a fulfilling relationship, the years will just disappear and I won’t have done everything I wanted to do.

I find myself sitting at my desk quite often thinking: “Is this all there is?”

I appreciate what I have – and I’ve worked hard for it – but it’s like life is passing me by.

I realise this is a first-world problem and I hope I don’t sound overly dramatic, but I’m at a ­crossroads and I don’t know which path to take. Please help.

Coleen says

How you’re feeling is very common – everyone arrives at that sliding doors moment at some point in life. And I also think most people have the same worries.

For a lot of people it takes a life-changing event to embark on a new path.

Since losing my sister to cancer and learning my other sister has the disease too, I find it a lot easier to make bold decisions and to live in the here and now.

Yes, giving up your great job is a risk, but I also have several friends who’ve been in the same “great” jobs for 30 or 40 years and have hated every day of getting up and going to work.

I think you have to look at what you’re most afraid of losing. You can maintain your network of friends – those relationships don’t have to end when you leave.

When you’ve reached a certain point in your career, it can be very hard to give up all the things that come with the job – status, money and so on – even if your heart is telling you it’s the right thing to do.

I wouldn’t suggest walking into the office tomorrow morning and handing in your resignation, but look around for what else you want to do.

It’s very difficult to jack it all in when there’s nothing in the pipeline.

Any plans might not come together for a while, but you’ll have a goal to work towards. Good luck.

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Source: Mirror