Dear Coleen: I’m torn between my best friend and my boyfriend


Dear Coleen

My best has recently told me he loves me. I know it’s wrong, but I got excited at the thought of it.

I’ve been in a relationship for the past eight years and while I do my boyfriend, we did go through a bad patch. The first person I then thought of was my best friend, but he’d got married to a girl who didn’t like me so we weren’t in touch.

They recently broke up and we got back in contact, and he now says he wishes he’d chosen me. I honestly don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend but I don’t want to lose my best friend either.

Coleen says

I think in a sense you’ve already lost your best friend because he’s in love with you. If you decide you don’t want to have a relationship with him, it’ll be hard to go back to being because he’ll always hope for more.

It’s made you question your relationship, though, so I think you need to focus on deciding what to do about that. Personally, it would hurt me more to know my was staying with me because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings.

It’s tough breaking up, especially if you’ve been together a long time, but you can’t stay out of pity. That’s not fair to anyone.

As far as your best mate goes, be careful it’s not your ego that’s being flattered. Put some distance between you to work out your relationship.

But if you do get into a with your mate and it doesn’t work out, that’s you guys done.

More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your , family, and relationship problems


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