Dear Coleen: I’m tempted by the prospect of a fling with my ex


Dear Coleen

A couple of years back, while I was with the man who is now my husband, I also saw another guy who used to fly into my city and stay at the hotel where I work.

We slept together now and again, but then we stopped talking for a year and I went off and got married.

My husband is wonderful, but I still think about what could have been with this other man.

We continue to talk on Facebook and Snapchat, and he’s told me he’s single and doesn’t have time to date as he travels so much.

However, he likes to remind me what a good kisser I was and says he enjoyed my company.

Deep down I feel that if my marriage ended, this guy would come looking for me and, who knows, it could end up being serious.

I find myself thinking that maybe he has it in the back of his mind that one day we’ll be together.

It might sound silly, but that’s how I feel. He says he’s happy that I’m happy, which is sweet, but
then he writes things that show he really likes me.

It makes me want to have a fling with him again.

Please help!

Coleen says

You’re talking like you’ve swallowed a Mills & Boon novel.

Look, you’re romanticising this fling you had. It’s a fantasy and that’s why it’s so sexy and appealing.

If you think about it properly, you had the chance to get together before you got married, but he disappeared for a year with no contact, so it’s likely you felt a lot more for him than he felt for you.

He’s also been quite honest about his status – he’s always travelling so can’t have a serious relationship right now and it sounds as if that’s how he likes it.

But he clearly wants to stay in touch in case he travels your way again and fancies hooking up.

I hate to sound cynical, but he’s probably got a girlfriend in every (air)port.

I think you should stop contacting him via social media – if your hubby (who you say is wonderful) comes across any messages, you could potentially lose him and end up on your own for the sake of this romantic notion that has no foundation in reality.

More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here