Dear Coleen: I’m still a virgin at 54 and I think I’ll die that way


Dear Coleen

I’m a 54-year-old virgin and I think I’m going to die as one.

I would love to make more of myself, but I don’t have a lot of money.

It’s my own fault, I suppose. I made a few bad decisions earlier in my life and I’m easily taken in by people.

I feel paranoid just walking down the street.

I’m also on medication and a side-effect is psoriasis on my face, and it’s also caused me to put on a lot of weight.

Have you any advice?

Coleen says

OK, let’s look at the things you can tackle straight away – you can talk to your doctor about the weight gain and problems with your skin and discuss alternative medication or at least a treatment.

Improving that one thing could instantly make you feel better about yourself.

You don’t have to be rich to pick up some bits of make-up at the chemist or a few items of clothing. Maybe you could ask friends to help you with a bit of a makeover.

Not all of us are brilliant at styling ourselves, but one of your friends might have a flair for it and know how to pick up nice things cheaply.

Weight gain is something else you can tackle positively yourself through being more active.

Exercise is also a brilliant tool for fighting depression and those feel-good hormones you get become pretty addictive – the more you do it, the more you want to do it.

As far as still being a virgin goes, if you felt better about yourself and had more confidence, I don’t think you’d be focusing on that.

I think it’s just another thing to beat yourself up about.

* More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems


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