Dear Coleen: I’m scared to tell best friend I’m gay in case it ruins things


Dear Coleen

I’m a 34-year-old woman and I really want to confide in my best friend that I’m gay. The problem is, I’m scared in case it ruins our friendship.

We’re really close and she also has two children who I adore. I’m worried she would stop me seeing them if she reacts badly to the news. If that happened it would tear me apart. All three of them are a big part of my life.

Any ideas? I honestly don’t know what to do and the more I think about it, the more confused I get.

Coleen says

If you can’t be honest with your best friend, who can you tell? I think you might be being a bit unfair to your pal by assuming she’d react badly. What makes you think she’d cut you off if you tell her you’re a lesbian?

Have you had discussions in the past where she’s come across as anti-gay? And if you’ve seen these signs then she’s not the right friend for you anyway.

If you want to tell her, then you have to just bite the bullet and do so. She might have guessed anyway, but doesn’t want to be the one to bring it up in case she embarrasses you, or in case she’s got it wrong.

It’ll be a test of your friendship. If she’s a true friend, revealing your sexuality won’t change a thing.

More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems


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