Dear Coleen: I’m obsessed with my ex and his happy new family

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Dear Coleen

My husband of 12 years cheated on me four years ago and left me and our two sons, who are now aged eight and 10.

He went off with a girl at work and everybody told me it would never last.

But it has and they’re now married and very happy together with two children of their own.

His business has also taken off and he’s doing really well.

I’ve been seeing somebody really nice for a year but I keep him at arm’s length and
I can’t help comparing him to my ex, who I still think of as the love of my life.

I just can’t help feeling very bitter and jealous of his new life, and I often spy on him
and his perfect new family on social media.

But this just makes me feel more bitter and unhappy, and I can’t stop comparing what I have now to what he has.

Please tell me how can I move on? I really want to be happy too.

Coleen says

The first thing you should do is stop spying on him. That’s one of the things I hate most about social media – it presents this glossy version of life that just isn’t realistic.

It can also become an addiction and that’s when it starts to eat away at your self-esteem.

So you need to train yourself to stop looking at it by cutting back and then giving it up altogether.

Because you know what? You might think his life looks so rosy and perfect, but I bet they have rows and get on each other’s nerves, just like every other couple out there.

And quite frankly, if he cheated on you, the mother of his two young sons, then there’s every chance he’ll cheat on his new wife too.

But you don’t need to worry about that any more because you’re not together, he is no longer your problem so you’ve got to move on.

It’s so hurtful and hard to get over such a wrench when somebody cheats on you and goes on to be happy.

But the best tonic is for you to also go on and be happy.

You’ve got a new a partner, so instead of wasting your time looking at your ex on Facebook, concentrate on your new man and your own life.

More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems

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