Dear Coleen: I’m jealous of my Facebook pals who are always doing something great


Dear Coleen

I’m a young mum of 27 and have two kids who are three and 14 months. Recently, I’m finding that I’m discontented with my life – I’m not climbing the career ladder fast enough because I’ve taken time out to have children.

And while all of my friends seem to be having a great time – most of them are still single or dating and don’t have kids – I feel tied to the house.

Every time I look at Facebook or Instagram, they’re doing something great, while I’m changing nappies or coping with tantrums. I feel bad for thinking like this because I love my kids.

My husband is great, but he’s shouldering most of the financial responsibility right now because I’m only working part time and he can’t afford flash holidays or expensive nights out.

Am I terrible for feeling low when I have such a great family?

Coleen says

No, I don’t think you are. You get worn down by routine when you have kids and you can get to the point where you start to lose your identity a bit .

You’re wrapped up in being a wife and mum. And every day is the same – it revolves solely around the kids – lunchtime, bedtime, bathtime 24/7.

But feeling like this doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids. There’s a smugness around social media and it’s easy to feel like the world is busy leading an amazing life.

But look, your friends are dating because they’re still trying to meet The One and many of them will envy you – they’d love to be settled with a great bloke and a couple of gorgeous kids.

The problem with Facebook and Instagram is they’re accessible all the time and it’s visual. In the old days, you’d hear what people were up to via friends or gossip or the phone – not from photos online.

But behind that great pic of your mates at a bar is probably a single girl who feels hungover the next day and is sitting alone in her flat, wishing she had someone to make her a cuppa.

If it’s getting to you, don’t log on. Do you really need to know if your mate is eating a biscuit or has bought a pair of shoes? No.

* More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems


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