Dear Coleen: I found my husband in bed with another MAN

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Dear Coleen

My husband went out recently while I was working a night shift.

When I came home after work I found him lying naked next to another man on top of the covers of our bed. They were both asleep and I was too scared to wake them up – I was pretty shocked and wouldn’t have known what to say – so I left the house and went to stay at my friend’s place.

I haven’t approached him yet over it and I’m scared to confront it, to be honest. Has he cheated on me with a man? What do I do?

Coleen says

You have to say something. What’s the alternative – to worry about it constantly? You can’t un-see it, so all you can do now is confront it.

It could be that he went out with his mate, had too much to drink and fell on to the bed after stripping off. Or it could be what you’re thinking it is – that he slept with this man.

If I were you, I’d just tell him you didn’t wake him up because you were shocked, but that it’s left you not knowing what to think.

Tell him you’re worried he might be having an affair with a man or be bisexual, and then deal with whatever the answer is.

I know it’s awkward and you’re afraid it won’t be the answer you’re hoping for, but it’s the only way to deal with it and move on.

More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems

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