Dear Coleen: I can’t stand my boyfriend’s vile female friend – she’s out to wind me up


Dear Coleen

My boyfriend grew up with three sisters, so he gets on well with and most of his friends are female.

That really isn’t a problem – most of them are really sweet, fun and class me as their , too.

However, there’s one girl, whom he calls his ‘best friend’, who I can’t tolerate.

She was chatting to me at the birthday of one of their other friends and started telling me about all the men she’d been with in the past few months and then said, “I always end up in bed with my guy friends”.

My boyfriend is also very protective of her. He was making fun of one of my friends who has a fake tan habit, but when I brought up his best pal’s dodgy make-up he got really annoyed and wouldn’t talk to me until I apologised!

Also, she knows when we’re seeing each other because he tells her everything, yet she chooses to call him when she knows we’re out for a meal or staying the night together.

She’s a hateful woman and I know she’s doing all this to wind me up.

Other than her, our is perfect – the best one I’ve ever had. But I can’t handle her in my life all the time.

How do I tell him? I don’t want to be the type of who stops her boyfriend talking to his friends, but there’s only so much I can take.

Have your say in the comments below

Coleen says

If you can, don’t make a big deal out of it or confront her because she knows exactly what she’s doing and she’s trying to provoke exactly that kind of reaction from you.

Those comments are designed to wind you up. Don’t let her win. Bite your tongue when she makes another provocative comment, which I know is really hard.

If she talks about sleeping with her guy friends, just say, “Oh, really” and move the conversation on. Don’t show you’re bothered.

But you should tell your boyfriend the kinds of things she’s been saying and that while you don’t like it, you’re not going to tell him who he can and can’t be friends with.

But add that if you ever found out anything was going on between them, then your relationship would be over.

See how things go after that, but have a serious think about whether you want to be with someone who’s for his mate to upset his girlfriend like this.

It seems to me he’s more concerned about her feelings than yours.

More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan’s advice on your sex, family, and relationship problems


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