Dear Coleen: My ex boyfriend has married but he still contacts me all the time

We are very much connected and have so much chemistry
Dear Coleen: My ex boyfriend has married but he still contacts me all the time
Dear Coleen

I’m in the middle of a dilemma regarding my ex-boyfriend. I am currently single and would love to find a relationship, but my ex is still in the background, even though he got married recently.

We were together for seven years and had our ups and downs during that time.

After we’d been together two years we wanted to settle down and talked about marriage, but his family wanted him to wed someone from the same background and religion.

This is where things began to unravel and I eventually left him because he wasn’t prepared to fight for our relationship.

None of my subsequent relationships lasted because I always felt something was missing. My ex and I are very much connected and we have so much chemistry. I realised I couldn’t find that with other guys I met. Nevertheless, I have tried hard to move on.

Meanwhile, my ex moved back home to get married, but still contacts me all the time, which I think is dangerous. I have tried everything, even blocking him, but nothing seems to work. He can’t get over me.

When I push him to give me an answer on why he’s doing it now that he’s married, he won’t respond or evades the question. It seems as if neither of us can move on because of this attachment we have.

What’s your opinion?

Coleen says

Look, if you don’t want someone to get in touch, you can do it, so I don’t think you’re being entirely honest about how you feel. Are you still hoping he’ll ditch his wife, go against his family and move back to live happily ever after with you?

If you were so adamant about moving on, when he got in touch you’d delete the messages immediately or hang up the phone. And, in the end, the penny will drop and he’ll stop trying.

You have to remind yourself that you left him for very good reasons – you spent seven years trying to make it work and you couldn’t.

I think what’s keeping you connected to him is the romance of someone wanting you that badly, and the fact that it’s ‘forbidden’ makes it all the more attractive.

The hard facts are, he’s recently married so you have to stop engaging with him and give yourself the opportunity to move on properly.

You’ll never really give another relationship a fighting chance while you’re still in touch with your ex, so you have to be the strong one and cut the communication. Good luck.

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Source: Mirror