‘Dating app men just want sex – so how am I going to meet someone nice?’

April 6, 2021

A mum who works from home asks agony aunt Coleen Nolan how she can move on from divorce and find a relationship

The men I’ve found on dating apps are putting me off (Image: Getty)

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Dear Coleen

My husband and I got divorced last summer after 12 years of marriage. We have two young sons and there wasn’t anybody else, we’d just been growing apart for a long time.

It’s been a tough six months helping the kids to adjust to us not being together, moving to two smaller houses and trying to manage all of that while homeschooling.

But I’ve managed to pick myself up for the sake of the kids and now I keep thinking that when things open up a bit, I’d like to meet somebody else.

I’ve been on a few dating apps and all the men are awful or just seem interested in sex, or we chat for a bit and then I never hear from them again.

I work for myself from home, so it’s not like I can meet anybody in an office environment.

How will I ever meet anybody again?

Coleen says

Listen, I feel your pain when it comes to the dating app situation. However, there are so many different types of app out there, so it’s worth trying out a few more.

Some work if you just give them a chance, and you can meet some really lovely people, as some of my friends have proven. I always say, you have to swipe left 100 times before you want to swipe right.

When you come out of a marriage, it’s natural to think you’re never going to meet anybody ever again.

But I have to say, the favourite point in my life was after my second marriage broke up and I thought, ‘You know what, I don’t think I need to meet anybody else’. I always think it’s when you reach that point – of not being bothered whether you meet anyone or not – that you’re more likely to meet somebody.

If I met a man now it’d be because I really wanted to be with somebody, and not because I’d gone out looking.

I’m totally OK with being on my own and I really enjoy that feeling. But you’re younger than me so I also
understand your fear.

You’ve found yourself on a completely different path than the one you imagined you’d be on at this point in your life.

If, like me, you married intending it to be for life and then it all ends – that’s something you just didn’t make plans for and it is scary.

As a woman you think, who will want me with two kids? I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but it’s definitely not impossible. Most people who go through a divorce go on to meet somebody else, and that will eventually happen to you too.

But it’s much more important to be happy with yourself before you try and find happiness with anybody else.

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Source: Mirror.