Look, we get it: Sex toys can can be intimidating as hell. But if you’ve sworn off sex toys for whatever reason, you’re missing out—especially if you’re avoiding using them with your partner.
Why? Sex toys can not only “bring fresh energy into a monotonous sex life,” but also “help couples or individuals achieve orgasm in easier and more satisfying ways,” says Jen Elmquist, M.A., L.M.F.T., a relationship expert and host of Evine After Dark.
Still, bringing a sex toy into the bedroom can be daunting, particularly for the uninitiated. And that’s why communication is key. “People don’t want to offend their partner by suggesting that they aren’t turned on by their partner and need an enhancement,” explains Logan Levkoff, M.S., Ph.D., a sex and relationships expert. Her recommendation? Suggest “a toy to ‘try together’ for a ‘different and enhanced partner experience’ for both of you.”
For men specifically, it’s especially important to “understand that if your female partner wants to use a vibrator, it’s not a replacement for you,” explains Elmquist. “As a matter of fact, often the more women are aroused, the higher their sexual desire.”
Most important, Elmquist adds, “once you can lay outdated beliefs and thoughts to rest, there is a big world to explore that offers couples adventure and excitement.”
Here are five of the most seductive, orgasm-inducing sex toys for every budget and every type of couple—from novice to the more experienced.
1. ‘The Confessions’ gift set by Lelo
Perfect “for the couple with a full toy chest that is looking for something new and out-of-the-box,” says Elmquist, Lelo’s “The Confessions” gift set has everything you could possibly need for a steamy night between the sheets.
The bundle comes with an “advanced massager that provides both internal and external stimulation that partners can use together,” as well as a remote control and silk chain-link handcuffs, which incorporates “an element of surprise and anticipation that can be added into play,” she explains. If you don’t want (or aren’t ready) to commit to a whole set, a simpler toy to start with from the same brand would the Alia, a “beautiful and effective” massager that’s a “good entry-level” place to begin. ($184, evine.com)
2. Tandem Couples Vibrating Ring by Trojan
Designed to stimulate both partners, the Trojan Tandem has a “vibrating massager and a ribbed tactile stimulator with extended reach,” says Levkoff. And as one of the more affordable sex toys on our list, it’s sure to provide the most (ahem) bang for your buck.
Levkoff does note that spicing things up doesn’t necessarily need to start with gadgets, but can “be something as simple as a new position, watching porn together, or [trying a] condom like Trojan’s new Trojan Nirvana collection that includes four different varieties to explore”. ($12.99, amazon.com)
3. Pivot by We-Vibe
This tiny, elastic penis ring is proof that big things come in small packages. This powerful (and waterproof) vibrating ring can be used on your own, but thanks to its comfort and stability is even better when used with a partner because it allows for hands-free clitoral stimulation.
“Most women need direct clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm,” says Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., a board-certified clinical sexologist and the author of Getting the Sex You Want. “Why not be hands-free—to use them for other things—while at the same time getting stimulation to the areas you need it most?” ($109, we-vibe.com)
4. Assorted Ignite Massage Candles by Kama Sutra
For a “slow entry (no pun intended) into incorporating some adventure in the bedroom,” try starting with a massage oil, says Elmquist. “Kama Sutra offers a fantastic line of massage candles that allow you to pour the warm oil from the candle onto your partner for a luxurious massage.” Just a pro tip: Try it on yourself first to make sure that oil isn’t too fiery on your skin. ($38, evine.com)
5. Locking Suction Handle Bar and Foot Rest Leverage Duo from Evine
Why limit yourself to just the bedroom? “Another fabulous idea is to move the play date to the shower,” says Elmquist. This locking suction handle bar and foot rest leverage duo can make this notoriously difficult location “comfortable and great for both partners”. The lock-down suction on both devices creates instant leverage, so you can find the perfect position without risking injury. ($31, evine.com)