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Okay, we’ve explored the problems; let’s look at the solutions to all of these issues:
why men have these problems
1 – Communication
“Common” thought says that men don’t communicate as well as women. I don’t agree. Men just communicate differently than women. A study was released recently that examined the parts of the brain that people use to communicate. Without going into all of the specifics, it found that men use only half their brain area to communicate as compared to women. The immediate assumption is that men are only half as capable at communication. However, the researcher said that this may very well mean that men only need to use the area needed by women!
Our species has been on this planet for about 1.6 million years. That’s a long time to evolve. For a very, very large portion of that time, we lived in “tribal communities.” Imagine men in these communities going out on a hunt. When someone saw some tasty-looking animal, he couldn’t just yell out, “Hey Bob — over here!” So, men developed much more intuitive, non-verbal ways of communicating. It seems that we are really very evolved communicators, but we don’t rely solely on verbal skills.
When men have problems with women, the first thing women want to do is “talk them out.” Verbal skills are well-developed in women so they naturally tend to want to use them. They often want us to get into verbal battles with them, and for the most part, we aren’t as prepared as they are. So, what do we do? In an attempt to handle the situation, we either overcommit or we lie — all in an attempt to get out of the communication hole we’ve dug. And women are notoriously good at giving us these opportunities.
2 – “The Test”
Women are fully aware of men’s problems with communication. Think not? Read any women’s magazine — they’re chock-full of information about this! This understanding leads to a little event I call “The Test.” The test is a situation (often manufactured) that puts the relationship, and more directly YOU, in a position where you have to act. Not acting (or acting incorrectly) will lead to humiliation, loss of affection or intimacy, looking bad in front of your friends, family, co-workers, etc., or even loss of the relationship.
The test has become so prevalent in our society that it almost always goes unnoticed for what it is. Next time you’re watching a movie or a TV sitcom and you see a male character running around like a madman trying to handle something created by his love interest, you’re probably seeing a test!
Why would women actually create relationship problems? This seems ridiculous to most men. After all, how would you feel if one of your buddies tried to create problems between you two to see how you’d handle it? You’d just laugh at him! Women, on the other hand, have learned to test their men because they want to be with men that are able to pass tests!
Men don’t often admit it, but they know that women control many aspects of the relationship. For example, they decide when you’ll first have sex. They’ll also decide IF you’ll have sex! Men are ready to jump on just about anything. Women have evolved to be more discerning. Thus, along with basic physical, emotional and financial characteristics you must meet, to be truly successful, you must also be able to pass women’s tests.
What are tests?