Here’s a behind-the-scenes look at what tantric sex coaches do.
The tantra healer wakes up happy to be alive in her body. Before her mind starts presenting her with the endless to-do list, she focuses her attention on her breath and deepens it. She visualizes her breath going to every cell of the body purifying and energizing it.
This is how I start every day as a tantra healer, who helps couples achieve intimacy in their relationships through tantric sex.
My body, now awake and energized, wants to stretch and move. I tune into my strong current of energy and place one hand on my heart and the other on my belly, connecting love with power.
Then, I place one hand on my throat and the other on my genitals to feel the deep connection between her expression and my sensuous gifts.
In fact, once you learn how to express your voice, your heart opens and your energy spirals easily to your sex center and back to the heart and the throat center in an erotic loop — something I teach my tantric clients to do.
I continue transforming any resistance and removing any thought or emotion that does not trust this amazing interaction of body and spirit.
Now, my body and spirit are ready for another kind of awakening: a cold shower. After a couple of deep breaths adjusting to the temperature, I focus on the rivulets of water flowing down every inch of my body, giving me great pleasure. My skin vibrates with increased circulation created by the cold water.
I then sit in front of my altar, which is adorned with flowers and candles. In my morning meditation, I envision penetrating the feelings and the essence of the tantric couples that are represented by a sacred statue.
I meditate on how breath can connect with my intention to feel different states of consciousness. I want to expand my awareness so I can help each student the way they uniquely need.
All these practices bring about the exhilarating union of body and spirit.
After this nourishing morning ritual, I’m ready to be of service to people who might not even know that they have the ability to experience and celebrate love with such pleasure and joy.
Who am I going to help today? Who is going to call? I’m ready to work with anyone who needs help to connect or to give and receive love in a healthy and fulfilling way.
This afternoon, a wonderful couple, Rosemarie and Dan, have scheduled three hours with me. Rosemarie wants Dan to be more nurturing, gentle and take more time in the foreplay. He, on the other hand, wants her to initiate lovemaking more often.
When I asked Rosemarie whether she had asked Dan to take more time, she answered: “No, I don’t want to hurt his feelings.” She was afraid she might hurt his ego by telling him the truth.
The dakini, or tantric healer, is excited to have the opportunity to help this couple open to a new reality of courage and pleasure.
Rosemarie will learn to see both Dan and herself as powerful and loving. They will become aware that each can express their needs and desires freely and be grateful for each step they take toward fulfillment. I might coach Rosemarie to visualize herself and Dan gazing into each other’s eyes, starting to “see” each other’s core self and the real love that’s there.
After our tantric coaching session, perhaps Rosemarie will be open to initiate lovemaking with a smile that melts Dan’s resistance to giving time to her the way she wants.
But perhaps something else is going to happen… The dakini may choose another approach, depending on what will happen. As a tantric healer, I’m open to receiving these directions from my core self — staying free of limiting beliefs. My chakras are open to receiving the best approach.
The dakini knows that ecstatic moments are essential for the health of our physical and emotional selves. Your energy centers love to relax and vibrate with the joy of high pleasurable energy, sexual connection and love.
Lovemaking goes beyond the personalities. It’s a divine event. And as a tantric healer, my job is to open myself up to the possibilities.
Carla Tara is a relationship coach and the first Tantrika in her state of New York, as well being a psychotherapist and intimacy counselor. She works with people through her “Sacred Sexuality” teaching, helping them harness their energy for a healthy, happy lifestyle.