With Hanukkah upon us and with Christmas on the horizon, many readers may soon be heading home for the holidays. Often, this means a few festive things: an abundance of heavy foods, too much eggnog, and, for those who will be heading home with a significant other in tow, navigating sex within the confines of a twin-sized childhood bed. Sex in a single bed can be a difficult, disjointed, awkward enterprise—but it doesn’t need to be.
A sex educator, producer, and host at SexEdAGoGo.com who goes by “Dirty Lola,” compared the experience to trying to get two bodies on the infamous floating door that saves Rose but not Jack from freezing to death in the icy Atlantic at the end of Titanic. While Rose claimed it was impossible, we all know she probably could have made it work if she really wanted to. “Having sex in a twin bed is kind of like that,” Lola tells Women’s Health.
The key lies in situating yourselves such that you each have room to maneuver without making too much noise—because if you’re sleeping in your childhood bed, chances are, you’re also surrounded by family members who would probably prefer not to awaken to the sound of your squeaking bedsprings in the middle of the night.
“First step: test your bed. Test the bounciness, test how squeaky it is,” Lola says. “Positions where there’s going to be a lot of bouncing, like being on top, would probably not be the best.”
“I would avoid anything that puts you outside of the bed, like standing outside or if you’re bent over the bed,” she added. Not only is that uncomfortable if your 7-year-old cousin comes barging in on you, it’s also loud, Lola explains. “Twin beds aren’t that sturdy usually, so they’re going to move across the floor: you want to avoid anything where you’re putting too much pressure against one side of the bed where it’s going to start moving or rolling. “
Also advisable to avoid? Toys, unless you’re confident the ones you’ve packed are super quiet. “Anything that you bring, the moment you turn it on and you know your mom’s in the other room, is going to sound loud, so so loud,” Lola notes.
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In short, successful and stealthy twin-bed sex is all about choosing low-bounce positions that allow for easy, fluid transitions. Try to remember what your younger self would’ve done in order to get away with sex in high school, Lola recommends: “Just go back to being a teenager and try to be as quiet and inconspicuous as possible.” Here, the best go-to positions for getting busy in tight quarters.