For the mushy, gooey, nurturing Cancer, only one sex position truly matters — cuddling. Crabs are the Olympic champions of (non-sexual) spooning, deliciously long hugging and gently stroking whatever hurts (both in body and soul.)
A Cancer in ecstasy is a Cancer licking whipped cream or chocolate sauce off of someone’s belly or having it licked it off of their own. This sign rules the stomach and the breasts, and these body parts must be part of the overall Cancerian sexual experience — which in itself is like a five-course meal in a four-star restaurant. (More on the breasts in a bit.)
Before you get to the crumbs-in-bed stage, there is the wooing stage, and for the security-oriented Cancer, this can take a bit of time. This is not the sign that typically jumps into bed. An emotional water sign, Cancers need to listen to their gut before listening to the call of their genitals. This cannot be rushed. But the payoff always exceeds expectations for their partners, as Cancers live to please.
Even if you’ve Tinder-swiped someone, Cancers must meet up for some kind of food — just a drink or a coffee won’t really cut it. Grab tacos from a food truck and sit on a bench if you don’t want to do anything formal — but you should eat.
If things seem to be headed in the right direction, you might start with a make-out session… and then a longer make-out session. All the while, Cancers measure and evaluate the shape of their potential paramour’s soul, making sure it’s safe to share their bodies. In fact, because Cancers have mommy issues (more on that later), some of them are orally fixated and particularly adept at kissing. They do this slowly and passionately while exploring every corner of their (lucky) partner’s mouths.
Back to breasts, Cancers like to get to second base on the first date. There will nipple-biting, and you might even have your first breast-gasm. (This is a thing.) Cancers: don’t be afraid to tell your partner that this is your favorite kind of foreplay. In fact, if you meet someone in a casual setting and they cannot help but look at your breasts, you might be offended. But if you find out this person is a Cancer, they actually have a good excuse — they can’t help it.
Another wonderful gift of the Cancer lover is that they love a bit of extra flesh. Curves are a turn-on —Cancers will never ask you to go on a diet. Instead, the Cancer MO is to fatten their partners up like Thanksgiving turkey — to have more to love.
Cancers are obsessed with being home — usually their own home, but partner’s places will do in a pinch. They are the sign that can spend 24 hours at home without going outside as long as there is enough food. The best date for a Cancer is one that starts with a home-cooked meal with sex for dessert, then actual dessert (in bed), then more sex for breakfast, then actual breakfast (in bed), then maybe some sleeping and more sex, only to start the whole cycle over again until you both need to go to Whole Foods and re-stock the larder.
Cancer is the sign associated with mothers and mothering, and gender is unimportant in this context. Cancers mother the hell out of their lovers, sometimes to the point of smothering. Cancers make the soup, ask for the proverbial “I got home safe” text and fix things around the house. And there is no sign that asks “Are you OK?” more often during sex.
Security is paramount for Cancers, but it’s not because they’re insecure. Rather, Cancers know how much they’re willing to dedicate to a relationship (even a simple FWB arrangement), and they just want to make sure that their partner is up for an equally strong commitment to whatever it is you’re building.
Cancers are ruled by the moon, hence their reputation for moodiness. Crabs pick up on other people’s vibes, too, and have to fight hard not to take other people’s emotions as their own. The cure for any Cancerian sadness or anxiety is a little bit of moonlight. Sex outside under a full moon is a completely out-of-body experience (for both parties).
The most obvious Cancer sex position is 69 for two important reasons. First of all, it mimics the shape of a crab, which is the Cancerian symbol. But second (and probably more important) it involves eating.
3. Spooning (with penetration)
4. The vulgar term is titty-fucking, but let’s just call it breast sex
5. Straight-up oral
To sum up, Cancers are the yummiest, dreamiest, cuddliest sign of all. Their lovers want to keep them around for a long, long time.