1. TIE ME UP, TIE ME DOWN
If you’re exchanging gifts in front of grandma and various little kids, you’ve gotta go stealth. At the family gift exchange, give him a nicely wrapped box of three inexpensive ties. While the unwrapping continues, text him: “Gonna use those on you later. You are SO in for it.” Let him wonder. Later, sit him down and use one as a blindfold, one around his ankles, and one binding his arms together. Tease him — describe how you’re stripping, let him hear you touch yourself, nip and kiss your way up his thighs — until he begs for you to climb on top of him.
2. THE SECRET SANTA
If you’ve been talking about prostate stuff but haven’t actually gone in, invest in a high-quality toy to get him started. Wait until he’s very aroused, use a literal butt-load of lube, and slowly guide his toy in, asking him for feedback as you go. If you pick a hands-free version like the Aneros Helix Syn or vibrating b-Vibe Rimming Plug, get on top and be the beneficiary of his subsequent super boner and intense, longer-lasting orgasms.
3. SEX BOX IRON CHEF
Play sexual Iron Chef with mystery ingredients you get in a sex box, like Babeland’s Moregasm Set, or a subscription from The Pleasure Pantry or The Big Oh! Box. The latest (gorgeously wrapped) box from Unbound, for example, includes a BDSM-friendly pin wheel, Volt stimulating gel, and a pair of Eva and Limon vibes. Start by tickling him with the pinwheel, then give a reach-around hand job with a side of perineum vibration. Will pair excellently with egg nog and some simultaneous vibe-play for you.
4. THE MELTY MASSAGE
If you don’t want to go super hardcore, choose a high-quality candle like a Lelo Flickering Touch or a Jimmyjane Afterglow. Yeah, at first it looks lame, like that Christmas Peach Candle from Saturday Night Live, but it’s actually stealth massage oil — really warm, gorgeously scented massage oil. Give your partner a candlelight massage first (because it’s the holidays) then take your turn. As they work on your back, prop a pillow under your hips and spread your legs a bit wider than necessary to take it in a whole different direction.
5. THE BASKET OF ORAL DELIGHTS
Make oral more delicious with a gift basket of fun, oral-specific enhancing goodies. Start with a Good Head Kit for Him (lip balm, a vibrating cock ring, and mints for a tingly mouth). Add assorted Good Head oral gels and some Tingle Drops to enhance the sensation. Every night for a week, he gets to pick an item from the basket to enjoy. This gift comes with a caveat though: He has to return the favor first before redeeming this coupon.