Listen up, gentlemen. We know you want to pleaseyour lady (or, if you’re single, the ladies) in the bedroom—and they sure as hell want you to do it, too.
But here’s the truth: While most guys think they’re blowing her mind, more often than not, they’re missing the mark.
“Women know that most guys want them to reach O-land, and they don’t want to disappoint,” says Dorian Solot, a sex educator and co-author of I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide. “So all too often, women fake orgasms, or just let their partner assume they had one.”
But don’t settle for disappointing. Stick to these positions. Believe us: Both you—and she—will know that they work.
According to sex experts, women get the most pleasure out of basic missionary sex. “Interestingly, when we surveyed women, good old-fashioned missionary position was the overall favorite. There’s nothing fancy about it, but women said they loved the closeness and the intimacy of having their partner’s weight on them,” says Solot.
But in order for missionary position to be most effective, make sure you’re entering her at the correct angle, says Los Angeles-based sex expert and radio host Lora Somoza. “By going in diagonally—rather than straight in and out—there’s more friction for clitorial stimulation, which is best, since that’s how most women achieve orgasm.”
2. Reverse Cowgirl
In this position, the man is either lying down or in a sitting position, and the female straddles him backwards — facing his feet instead of his face. It’s a key position that also allows easy access to the clitoris, says sexologist and sexuality educator Megan Andelloux. “Because of the easier clitoral access, this position is the one that is most likely to facilitate an orgasm because direct clitoral stimulation is easy to engage in.”
3. Doggie Style
Doggie style is a great position for the woman because it allows her to have optimal control. “She is able to adjust her range of motion for an angle that feels best,” says Amy Levine, a sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure. “He can likely stimulate her G-spot and have access to her clitoris with his hand, her hand or a toy, like a small bullet-shaped vibrator.”
But make sure to use your hands for clitoral stimulation too while in the doggie style position, says sexologist Gloria Brame, Ph.D. “She will rarely have an orgasm if you’re not doing something manually in front at the same time,” she says.
4. Girl on Top
Another position that allows her to have the most control of her orgasm is when she’s the one on top, facing forward. But the position still needs to be a joint effort, Somoza explains. “You can help her by moving her hips up and down. It’s a communication thing,” she says. Levine adds that when the woman is on top, “she’s in control of the depth and motion, as well as having easy access to her clitoris for pleasure.”
If your lady doesn’t prefer deep penetration, Andelloux suggests spooning. It’s also good “if you’re into lazy morning Sunday sex playtime. It concentrates on stimulation of the front portion of the vagina or rectum, which is where the most nerves are located in the genitals.” Andelloux explains that spooning is pleasurable because it creates a tighter fit in the vagina and rectum, so if a woman is looking for more stimulation from her partner’s fingers or penis… spoon away.
According to Marshall Miller, a sex educator and co-author of I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide, this is another great position for clitoral stimulation. “Both partners are lying down. The woman is on her back and the guy is on his side. She has her legs draped over his middle like a giant X,” he says. “Since your bodies aren’t squished against each other, either you or she can reach down to rub her clitoris, what most women need to reach the Big O.”
7. The Pillow Technique
Many sex experts agree that positions often become more pleasurable for a woman when a pillow or blanket is added to create a new angle of entry. In missionary, Levine says to “put a pillow under her tush to give a pelvic lift. That can also help the man rub her g-spot with his penis.” Brame says it’s a tip that is often underutilized, and that you can even use furniture or yoga props. “Certain angles for some women won’t be comfortable,” he says. “Ask her what is working for her.”
8. Coital Alignment Technique
This position, created by psychotherapist Edward Eichel, is considered by many to be the “greatest sex position in the world.” Start in a normal missionary position with your full body weight on top of the woman, not resting on your elbows. Move forward so that the base of your penis (your pubic bone) is making direct contact with her clitoris. Her legs should be around your thighs and you should be moving together in a rhythmic, rocking motion. “Some swear that this position allows for the closest physical connection and the best clitoral stimulation based on his positioning,” says Levine.
9. Ankles Up
“When you’re on top of somebody or flat, you can’t always achieve full penetration,” says Brame—which is why adjusting her leg positioning allows for deeper contact. “You have to put her ankles up over your shoulders. It allows you to go as deep inside of her as possible and hit her G-spot.” The same deepness can also be achieved by her bending her knees or placing the soles of her feet on your chest.
This is a simple woman-on-top position where she’s (duh) kneeling on an arm chair or bed, straddling you. “It’s the best way for her to have control over penetration and when you both climax since she can slow down or speed up, grind and thrust at her own pace,” Brame says. “Even women who don’t necessarily want to be in control in bed might enjoy if their partner grips her arms or hips and helps steer their movements.”
11. Edge of the Bed
Like the Ankles Up position, this encourages deep penetration since she’s lying on her back with her hips at the edge of the bed, and you’re entering from under her legs (which can rest on your torso or fall over the edge of the bed). However, it can be difficult to get comfortable if the bed is too low and your groin isn’t in line with hers. “More likely, you’ll need to lower yourself or bend over her to penetrate fully, but it’s sexy on the edge of the bed because it feels like you couldn’t actually wait to get to the pillow,” Brame says. Plus, she gets a direct view of the action.
12. Cowgirl with a Twist
This takes Cowgirl up a notch. She kneels and straddles you, while you’re flat on your back. The twist is you bend your knees, supporting her butt. From here, she can push off your chest to help control as she slides up and down against your thighs. Because there’s less stress on her legs and she’s in control, she can delay your climax and get the right rhythm. Plus, you can grab onto her hips or thighs and meet each thrust.
13. The Bridge
From Missionary position, sit up so your weight is supported on your ankles, knees spread wide. Have her lie on her back, feet flat on the bed. From here, she’ll arch her hips into a low bridge position. “By arching to met your penis, you can join your bodies at the perfect angle and get maximum penetration,” Brame says. Prop some pillows under her back to keep the position from becoming uncomfortable.
14. Belly Down
This will present some new sensations since she’s on bottom, lying face-down on the bed while you lie down on top of her (or hover above her in a semi-pushup position, entering from behind. Her legs should be straight and her hips slightly raised to meet you. This will put your penis right in line with her g-spot and give you a super snug fit. “Never hesitate to use a good water-based lube to help glide into positions,” Brame advises; “you may not slide in her as easily as you do in Missionary.” And like The Bridge, you can prop pillows underneath her abdomen to raise her vagina into a better angle; this is especially helpful if you have very different heights.
15. Standing Against a Wall
“This is one of the oldest, fastest ways to have a quickie,” Brame says, and it works best when she’s the one against the wall. With her shoulders and back resting against the wall for support, have her lean her pelvis forward and wrap a leg around your waist to control your speed and penetration. “It seems like an easy position, but it’s really best for similar-height lovers (a really tall guy with a really short girl will find challenging, and vice versa), and if she has strong legs,” she adds.
Stand behind her, then have her hinge and bend at the waist while you enter from behind. Bending at the waist tightens her vaginal walls and creates more friction; plus penetration is easy from this angle. Though Brame advises: “This is best performed when a woman has some kind of support in front of her, like a table, sink, or piece of furniture to hang on to.” It’ll actually work in your favor if she’s anchored to something; one hand can grip her hip for support while the other reaches around to stimulate her clitoris.
17. Missionary with a Twist
As the name implies, you’ll both turn onto your sides from the missionary position, using your arms to supporting each other and intertwining your legs to get more leverage and the best fit. “The charm of this position is that you move very slowly and try to stay connected the whole time, essentially rolling to the side while still having intercourse,” Brame says. She’ll also have constant clitoral stimulation, which is so important for the female orgasm.
You don’t need to be flexible enough to sit completely cross-legged like a pretzel, you just need to be able to get into a seated position with your erection facing up. From here, she’ll sit in your lap, facing you and wrapping her legs around your hips/waist. You’ll achieve maximum penetration and she can be fully in control either riding you or rocking her hips while she holds onto your shoulders for support.
19. The Spider
Both of you are seated on the bed, facing-to-face, with your legs pointed toward one another, leaning on your hands for support (imagine you’re doing a crab walk). Next, have her walk her feet over your body so they’re on either side of yourhips and flat on the bed. Her hips should be positioned between your spread legs, giving you full access to penetrate. Instead of thrusting, you’ll rock back and forth. The beauty of this position is you can still maintain eye contact while viewing the action, and she can control the angle, speed, and motion to climax.
20. The Pretzel
An imaginative position, you combine bits and pieces of Face-to-Face and Doggie-Style. As she’s lying on her left side, you’ll kneel and straddle her left leg while she bends her right leg around your waist. “You should do positions because they’re fun and make you happy,” Brame says. “Feel free to follow your natural inclination to find better, hotter sensations, which can mean sitting up, rolling over, pretzeling or doggy-styling.” In short, it’s all about what keeps you engaged and satisfied in bed. And you won’t know what does that until you’re hot and heavy in the midst of it.