Dating is nothing but pressure: let’s face it, it’s one big game.
Forget this ‘be yourself’ mantra, the first date at least takes one heck of an act.
Getting the balance right between showing your real self (warts and all) and holding back a little bit to come over better is one of life’s biggest challenges.
Get that first date right and the hardest bit is over: you could well be on the way to a great relationship.
Get it wrong, and it’s back to Tinder with your tail between your legs and your ego bruised.
If you want that first date to go down a storm, ladies, here’s what NOT to do.
1. Don’t laugh at our joke if you don’t find it funny. We can tell and it makes us feel worse.
2. Don’t mention your parents. We don’t want to have to consider the terror of meeting your dad until at least date three. It really is a scary prospect for us so give us time.
3. Don’t lose your feminine side. We all love a bit of banter but we are attracted to you because you’re a woman so trying too hard to be one of the lads can be a bit off putting.
4. Please don’t spend more of the date on your phone than with me. Although we have expected that you might want to Instagram your meal.
5. Don’t spend ages being overly glam. There is such a thing as too much make up. The majority of us prefer the natural look and nothing is as sexy as confidence in your own skin.
6. Don’t tell us to order what we feel like then get a salad from the starters after we’ve just asked for a rump steak. It’s ever so awkward.
7. Don’t think it’s sexist that we offer to pay the bill. We genuinely are trying to be nice and gallant and not trying to undermine your gender. You can pay next time.
8. Let’s not have sex on the first date. Many guys claim it’s what they want but those of us looking for a relationship want to get to know you (ALL of you) slowly and enjoy every savouring moment.
9. Don’t be afraid to specify where you want to go. A date doesn’t have to be a meal out. If you want to do something different, holler. We’ll respect it and get an insight into your personality. No swingers parties though.
10. Don’t be afraid to give a compliment (but only if you mean it). We like someone mentioning our appearance too.
11. Don’t complain about your friends too much. Or we’ll think you’ll be doing exactly the same about us when you see them again.
12. Don’t think that everything we say is necessarily set in stone. We’re nervous too so if we give the wrong answer to ‘do you ever see yourself getting married?’ then it doesn’t have to mean the end.
13. Don’t ask us about our previous girlfriends. If they were so important at this time, they’d be sitting opposite us. This date is all about you.
14. Don’t talk about your ex. Even if it is just to criticise him, we want to be the only guy on your radar for this night.
15. Don’t forget to enjoy yourself. Listen to your heart. If you’re having a good time then relax and go with it. One day this night could be something we want to tell our grandkids about so let’s remember it and make sure there are lots of good parts.
16. Don’t agree to a second date if you’re not into it. We can take being rejected, our pillows will be dry in the morning. Being strung along is harder to handle.
17. Don’t forget that you will make mistakes and so will we. We’re all human so this checklist is just meant as a bit of fun. None of us want to date a pre programmed robot. The mistakes can be funny and break the ice. So let’s not take ourselves too seriously.