These are far from cringe-y.
Sexting was once a big hit amongst people aged 14 to 75. Nowadays, it’s largely relegated to “things you do when expressly bidden to and only with a consenting adult whom you have absolutely no power over,” like exposing yourself. And we’re probably all better for it.
Unsolicited dong photos and invitations to sit on faces are, in this writer’s opinion, a bad piece of business. However, if you’re kind of in a respectful “relationship” or angling toward a thing in which there is sex involved, a good sext is kind of a nice way to get the party started. And what better way to get the message across than with the best sexts to send him?
Everyone wants to be wanted — albeit on his/her own terms — and the brain is the biggest erogenous organ, so it just makes good sense and low effort let your partner know, “Hey, guy, I’m thinking of you and that thing.” Good foreplay can start days ahead of time.
Here are 15 copy and paste one-sentence texts to get your guy turned on. Trust us, once you know the best sexts to send him, he won’t be talking to anyone else.
1. I miss that d*ck.
Lots of points for brevity, honesty and directness.
2. What are you going to do to me later?
This one gets the old anticipator in motion. And, as we all know, wantin’ + wantin’ = passion (in this context).
3. Look, am I gonna get back kisses or not?
In the history of humankind, back kisses, especially demanded ones, have led to sex 99.75 percent of the time. Those are good odds.
4. I wish we were in bed right now.
That’s sweet of you. Same here.
Dudes like feeling manly. And gratitude looks better on a person than anything from Frederick’s Of Hollywood.
6. I am sooooo thirsty (or “horny,” if you’re not especially hip).
Yeah, you are. Right back atcha.
7. There’s something I want to do with you but I’m too shy to text it to you.
Hola, imagination. Time to do work.
8. You’re making me wet.
Even if it’s incontinence, men consider all wetness a compliment. Also, the no nonsense business acronyms are kinda fun.
9. I can’t stop thinking about you.
Oh, hello. I’ve left a lasting impression? Well well…
10. I’m not wearing panties.
But… but… but panties cover your sexual parts. Oooh, I get it. Awesome.
11. Is there anyway you can just live under my desk?
Literally, this is completely impractical. Figuratively, “Oh hey, girl.”
12. No man has ever made me feel so good.
I’m the best you’ve ever had? My testosterone is spiking just typing this!
13. I feel like there should be something inside me right now…
And it ain’t a mystery as to what.
14. If you had a twin, I’d still choose you (or any Drake line, I suppose).
I’m special. Thanks for the recognition. Now let’s get it on.
15. I want to f*ck you like an animal (but probably not many other Nine Inch Nails lyrics).
Yes! I want that, too.
Tom Miller is a writer and performer based in New York. He’s been a mechanical engineer and a banker. He’s been the general manager and coordinating video producer at YourTango for 11 years. He’s probably listening to Bryan Adams’ “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” as we speak.