Listen up, fellas! Ladies get real about what they really want (and don’t) want in the bedroom.
Previously, we asked men what positions they preferred, and, to no surprise, doggy style was the definite winner, with missionary being at the bottom of the list. Well, guys, from what we learned this time around, men and women are on completely different ends of the spectrum when it comes to favored sex positions. Looks like we’re just going to have to find a middle ground if we’re ever to truly be happy when we get it on.
Actually, missionary is best, thank you very much
“Believe it or not my favorite is actually straight up missionary. I feel the most connected with my partner when I can see and touch their face and when I can wrap my arms around him. I enjoy all the other staples, too, but that’s my favorite,” says Colleen, 30.
“I know it’s going to sound lazy, but I prefer missionary. I really enjoy laying there while he does all the work,” says Elizabeth, 31, adding, “I’m not even kidding.”
“Never been a huge fan of the legs-up-on-shoulders position; I get distracted worrying about what an unflattering angle I’m at. The best feeling position would have to be doggy style, but my absolute favorites are girl-on-top and missionary,” says Natalie, 25.
“Missionary is the best position, because it is the position that allows you to be the laziest. Often, while having missionary-style sex, I think about how Kennedy continually told his female partners that he had to lie on his back throughout the sex act, because he had a bad back. I strongly suspect he was lying. Regardless, whenever I have missionary-style sex, I always think, ‘I am a layabout, just like JFK.’ AND IT’S GREAT. Anything that requires not moving is great,” says Ellen, 27.
Bring on the doggy
“Woof woof… you smelling what I’m selling here? It just feels the best for me,” says Melissa, 36.
69 can bugger off (as for other oral, for that matter)
“Fuck 69. Fuck it. It serves no purpose. I can’t concentrate on giving good head and receiving head at the same time. Plus, I’m 5’1 on a good day, so it’s always awkward. Piss off, 69. Just piss right off. As for regular in’ n’ out—put my knees at my ears and we’re golden,” says Sarah, 34.
“Oh. That reminds me,” added Colleen, “No one should ever, ever, ever put their face anywhere near my lady garden unless they want a full panic attack and kicking. And definitely no way to 69.”
“I didn’t realize people were still doing 69. Isn’t that a thing you do in college, then you learn it’s a disaster, and never do it again?” asks Jennie, 30.
As for anal?
“I know this goes against what most women will probably tell you, but I love anal. With the right lube and position – me on my back and he entering me from that angle — it can actually feel great. It’s all about breathing, relaxing, and taking it slow. But I still prefer vaginal intercourse, of course,” says Kelly, 36.
“Did it once and will never do it again. Not to get too graphic, but it was, um, messy. Let’s just say that I didn’t have a normal bowel movement for a long time after that, in addiction to the almost two weeks worth of pain,” says Lindsay, 34.
“My thoughts on anal are similar to my thoughts on doggy style: fun once in awhile with the right person, but not all the time. Giving anal is probably even more fun, if they’re into it, and receiving is even better with toys,” says Becky, 29.
“Could do without receiving anal … but I’m all for pegging all the way!” says Heather, 27.
“I’m pro-anal and very, very anti-cowgirl. I greatly prefer from-behind positions but as long as I’m not on top, I’m happy. I think most ladies are anti-anal because of overeager idiots or horror stories. It can be so awesome! Our society has created a culture of butt-sex paranoia. STOP THE FEARMONGERING!” says Cate, 23.
I’m sorry men of the world, but that’s just how it is! Although we do like doggy, because there’s no doubt it feels best because of how deep we can feel you, when it comes down to it, we really love missionary. Call us lazy, creatures of habit, or what have you, but that’s how we prefer it.