He can’t just hang out down there giving you a tongue bath.
1. He needs a warning system in place before he orgasms. Unless you’ve agreed upon this in advance, he can’t just finish in your mouth out of nowhere. Otherwise, it’s like drinking a bottle of soda and someone running up and squeezing it. Not a great feeling, unless you love soda so much it doesn’t bother you. But some form of communication, even if it’s a tap of the head, is helpful.
2. He needs to appreciate the time you’re putting in. You’re (probably, mostly) down here for their sake, not yours. That doesn’t mean you’re not enjoying yourself, and it doesn’t mean he should feel guilty. But he should at least keep an eye on the clock, here. There is only so much you can do before you get carpal tunnel of the jaw, or whatever.
3. He needs to at least offer to return the favor. If you’re not into oral, okay, that’s fine. But being willing to reciprocate is still the right thing to do. It’s like how if you show up at someone’s house, it’s courteous to offer them something to drink. Even if you’re not thirsty, it’s kind of rude for your host not to ask.
4. He can’t just hang out down there giving you a tongue bath. He needs to have an end goal and at least some idea of what he’s doing. Feel free to offer specifics, but also to shut down this behavior ASAP.
5. He’s gotta incorporate his hands. If and when possible, obviously. It’s probably not possible to give you a two-for-one when you’re riding his face off into the sunset.
6. He’s gotta stop all the shit he’s doing with your hair. It’s is just distracting. Sure, it’s nice to know he’s into it and not falling asleep, but if he’s going to be tugging on your hair that much, he might as well braid it.
7. There’s such a thing as too much eye contact. Eye contact can be hot. Some people love the intimacy that goes along with eye contact during a sex act. On the flipside, some people think a piercing gaze during sex is the mark of a serial killer. But no matter how much you love penetrating stares, if he’s too busy focusing on your face and not your vagina when he’s going down on you, that’s bad. If he’s staring at you, unblinking and emotionless while you’re going down on him, also weird.
8. Just because you orgasmed once, doesn’t mean you’re “taken care of.” Every woman orgasms differently, and just because he got you off once doesn’t mean you’re really “done.” Guys can sometimes (understandably) have a hard time relating. We got shafted in this department in that we’re very much one-and-done.
9. If he doesn’t want to kiss you after, he can’t expect you’ll want to do the reverse. Some people think it’s fine, some people think it’s gross. But if he wants you to gargle with mouthwash post-oral, he can’t expect to come out from between your legs and start making out. Talk it out in advance and try to be cool with where your partner is coming from.
10. He still needs to practice safe sex. If you want him to put on a condom or use a dental dam, he needs to respect that. This is non-negotiable.